It's a work night but I think I might be real bold and head out?
Anyways,
answer my friggin' questions from the last blog.
Only like 1 person did, and I can see that a lot more people than that read the blog, which makes me slightly worried if everybody is choosing to not answer the question.
Am I that BAD?!
Life is long.
Fun fact:
When I write something funny on a computer, I repeat it to myself and do a little laugh.
A sorta exhale, singular laugh; you know the one?
I think it's my way of reassuring myself that it was funny.
Went for a walk around town at the weekend there, it's really nice just wandering around. It's funny how we do that when we go abroad, but doing it in Dublin just isn't really a done thing is it? Town is really nice this time of year, I was going somewhere on Saturday night and as I was walking to the Luas there were a lot of very merry people on the streets, not drunk, just merry, happy, it was nice to see.
So anyway, I'm gonna get around to a few of these formsprings that people posted to me, then I'm going to ask something else. Don't give up at the encrypted bit if you can't read it, because I'd like it answered!
I tell you what, I'll even buy a christmas present, something shit but fun, off the internet (probably from ebay) for whoever gives the best answer, most points going for honesty. I'm not spending more than 20euro on the item and postage combined just to let yiz know. If you win I'll let you know by posting on my blog what you said provided it's not too soul-crushing (if it is I'll just post the gist of it) and you can give me an address to have whatever delivered to.
"ever try write anything more than a blog (or poem/song)?"
Not really, do you think I should? I tried writing a story when I was about 12 or so on the computer. I think I did maybe a chapter before I gave up. It was about a boy who went to sleep and woke up in another weird, magical world, and no it wasn't my intention to drop the classic "and then he woke up" line. I saw it on my computer as I was cleaning files a few years ago. It was really shit. I sometimes think of writing different blogs under aliases, never going to bother though, it's hard enough to keep just this one going.
"What ya gonna do with your life James?"
That's something I've been thinking about an awful lot lately. I really amn't sure.
(I gonna go off on a complete tangent here: That's funny actually, one of the lads pointed out the other day that apparently only Irish people really say amn't which I was surprised by. At the time I thought I barely ever even say that, since it was put to me as we say "I amn't sure", but I think I'd say "I'm not sure", but with the whatever it's called of "really", (adverb it turns out), I'd definitely say "I really amn't sure". Weird that though eh? Not really actually. Sorry I wasted your time.) Back to the question.
I always feel like I want to do everything and nothing.
Doing anything closes doors on other things, it's just life and it's tough. It's hard to imagine that I'll never be a doctor when for some reason I feel like I could imagine exactly what that would be like,
So. I was wondering this earlier. I have always thought that people perceive me in a particular way. You can probably guess exactly how I think people think of me, but that's beside the point (Feel free to try though!).
I want to know 3 things.
Well, actually I want to know loads of things, but I'll limit it to 3.
1. What was your first impression of me? Brutally honest, I've heard some bad ones before.
2. What do you think of me now?
3. Has your opinion of me changed since reading my blog?
Feel free to try answer them even if you don't know me in real life!
p.s: On a side note, I now have a secret project. My secret project is to find out Donal's secret project. So it's not really a secret, but it's to find a secret so I'm going to call it a secret project.
I'm not even sure if his secret project is more than sarcasm, but I'll find out!
First step in my project is to write an android keylogger so I can find out his passwords, I already told him I'm going to try find his password so I don't feel bad about this.
Gonna get cracking, just need music first.
Imagine instead of always having to physically travel we sometimes had to go on mental journeys to get to places. Kinda like how they do in movies.
Wouldn't that be exciting.
Sometimes I feel like maybe when we die we change world, reload buddy. That sorta job. Except the world is different. Like all universes are parallel, and when we die, we hop to another one. That would explain why sometimes I feel like I've lived things that I haven't or couldn't have. Another, far more reasonable explanation would be all the crazy movies, games and (the most likely) crazy dreams I've had in my time. God I love those crazy movies, games and dreams.
Nothing beats a good dream really does it.
Here's a song and video that really take me halfway to another world.
Wack up the sound, stick on fullscreen and enjoy this bad boy.
I made an 8tracks account since I use it everyday in work.
I'm Heuuuth, haven't uploaded any playlists yet though.
We finally got wireless bband in our house, wahey.
Housewarming this saturday, hopefully I won't be sick or some bullshit for it.
Work is actually so cold, I think thats why my back is sore. There must be a draft or something where I sit because I think I'm usually colder than everybody else....
"i'm bored, post some jokes"
I used to know jokes, but not anymore. I only know really long jokes that aren't that funny and that's what makes them funny. Ya dig? And I'm not typing them out. Far too long.
Here's a short one. Why did the Mexican drive over his wife? Tequila!
I'm a dickhead,
I'm lazy,
I'm awkward socially,
I don't like new people when I first meet them,
I'm pessimistic,
Depressed too often,
I have a terrible memory,
I'm going grey,
I have skinny wrists,
I've never had a relationship,
I have feminine eyebrows,
I get red-eye in every photo,
I don't put myself out there often enough,
I look like a junky,
I have a posh voice,
I play too many video games,
I'm ugly,
I have bad rhythm,
Nobody loves me,
I dance like a twat,
I suck at singing,
I get sleepy too often,
Too self conscious,
Too self absorbed,
I regret too much,
I feel lost, always,
I read into everything too much,
I'm completely paranoid,
I have no idea what I want,
I feel like I haven't lived,
I'm terrified that i never will feel like I have lived,
I'm also totally skitz.
I'm funny,
I'm not bad looking,
I have no long term illnesses or health problems,
I'm quick witted,
I'm coordinated,
I have good balance,
People usually seem to like me,
I'm fairly well educated,
I'm pretty nice,
I'm not one of those loud people,
I'm modest,
I'm pretty patient,
I'm the most class person in the world,
I have good friends,
I'm good at most things I try,
I'm easy going,
I'm fun,
It's funny how I've never done something like that before, well, before I took that down in my phone; I guess writing that there was the second time. I was sitting on the dart and I decided to just list everything I don't like about myself or am insecure about. Then when I wrote I'm totally skitz I decided that would be an appropriate time to start listing things I like about myself, and I feel a lot stronger about the good things than I do about the bad things.
The bad list is about twice as long, but that's okay because you can always think of things to improve, but things you're actually happy about are harder define.
When I was in Kenya we did this exercise where we all anonymously wrote down a few things about each person in the group, and then the person to your right read them all out for you when they were collected. It was really nice because you don't realise how appreciated you are until you hear it, and as Irish people we're exceptionally good at not letting people know when they're appreciated. My favourite one was someone wrote that if they had to be stuck in an elevator with anybody, it would be me. I think my face lit up when I read that. I don't know who wrote it, but it's exactly the kind of person I want to be.
In keeping with this post, the bads and the goods. Wanna formspring me something you dislike and something you like about me? Even if you're an anon follower and have never met me, how about you tell me something you dislike and something you like about this blog.
If you want me to tell you honestly what I like about you, message me in formspring and give me a password to encrypt the response for you with.
I'll leave you with this lovely song.
p.s I really enjoyed those messages people formspringed me, it's always fun to hear people think very similar thoughts to me sometimes!
you have to think which is more important, going to sleep a little earlier, writing a blog post that you said you might write, or just talking shit and playing foosball.
Today I'm picking the sleep option thanks.
It's good to do whats natural sometimes.
Night.
I want to walk around town more, it was really nice just wandering a bit today, but then it started raining so I started heading home. My cousin brought me in a keyboard which I haven't tried using yet but it doesn't look that great but sure we'll see. (coming back to this blog a few hours later, it's okay. it's weird playing without a pedal).
Had bubble tea for the first time today, it was really nice actually and the guy who served me was really nice too which definitely makes you want to come back. The frozen yogurt shop guy was really nice too, and if you guess the weight right you get it for free which is fun.
I'll try blog tomorrow, no promises though. It'll be the one about I have no redeeming qualities.
Someone pointed out to me that the cary grant/chimney sweep stuff was about ideas as what to dress up as. 2 fantastic ideas, thanks and sorry I was too stupid to realise what you were talking about. I ended up not going to that party though since most the work crowd weren't and I didn't want to spend a night talking to 50 year olds I don't know. Hey if I had a girlfriend I could have been like, hey doll you're coming to this with me so I can network, and she'd be all like no but I spose I have to coz i'm all like your girlf and stuff. CUTE EH? Me and my gal would be so cute like that.
Anyway, someone said they can't see the pics in the last post. No idea why they won't work, not assed to re-do them. Just use your imagination.
I really enjoyed getting those 3 messages by the way.
Nobody will probably do this but somebody please message me something in the anonymous box about something that you've been thinking about lately. Can be absolutely anything.
Also, no, I'm not going to write my blog like one of the desperate housewives (oops, completely thought Cary Grant was one of those sex and the city chicks or something, just as well I did a quick Google or I might have looked like an... Oh wait... Where's teh dlete butotn!?).
So yeah, it was actually going to be a positive post anyway, but thanks for making me feel like I'm just doing what I'm told. I bet it was a girl who wrote that. Chicks always be trying to make you do shit on their terms.
So anyway.
Libido.
Yeah..
It's actually kinda hard to find the right picture for something like that.
Safesearch off and you basically can't get anything without a vag or a dick in it, and safesearch on you get wooly jumpers. Safesearch moderate and you get such a random mix of stuff.
I was thinking about this on my way to, or from work, can't really remember, but I just remember that I was walking at the time so it was nearly definitely one of those 2 times. What was I thinking you ask?
Well you're going to have to wait until I stop waffling. Which is soon.
I was thinking about how I was really uninterested in most girls for a while, it was actually slightly worrying. Maybe I was a lil depressed without realising it? Or maybe it was just from lack of being around girls that I would lust after, lust is a great work, it's like saying wanna bone but way less crass. But that wasn't the case so I dunno. Maybe it was the lack of being around NEW hot girls?
Although I'm hardly talking to lots of hot girls these days, but I will tell you what I'm doing lots.
Walking past hot girls. It's crazy.
I'm not sure what it is, but on my walk to and from work I seem to walk by loads of hot girls. Especially in the mornings, but even more especially in the evenings.
I digress.
So yeah, I dunno what it is about baggot st, but in the evenings there's just so many really good looking girls walking around. Maybe it has something to do with having just finished a day of work? Or maybe it has to do with the candlelit effect from the dark night sky, yellowy street lights and brighter but less prominent lights coming from the houses and small shops on the sides of the road.
Or maybe the girls around there are just good looking girls and there's no "excuse" for it.
It's really nice to have this basic instinct back in my life.
It's nice to want things.
Until recently I wanted a meaningful, soulful relationship.
Now I find myself moreso just wanting a lustful relationship.
Actually, thinking about it now, libido is another word like lust. It means basically the same thing as hornyness but it's totally okay for me to blog about libido; if I was writing about being a randy fiend this whole post would be no longer acceptable, but I've said libido so I've basically safeguarded myself... Although pointing out that fact probably just ruined any credit that saved me.
Who cares.
Who even reads this thing.
I bet there are some sneaky readers actually, I get too many views from Ireland for there not to be a few of my friends reading it who I'm not aware read it, or else my friends who do read it and I know read it re-check it quite a lot. Lynch already told me he rechecks it a fair bit.
Anyway, surprise me sometime and tell me you read my blog if I don't know :). I'd like to hear more opinions on what a boring blog I keep and how shit I am at updating it. Actually nobody has called it boring. Yet. Apart from me.
This is boring.
I'm boring.
Here's a song that I really like (I was going to link a lovage song to keep the sexual theme going but this song is too nice)
Choose for next blog:
I have no redeeming qualities.
Not everything in this magical world is what it seems.
Conversation with god.
p.s please message me things in the formspring box. It's really fun getting anonymouse emails, definitely brightens up my day when I'm at work.
but my friends are posting too much (which is great) so I end up going as far as blogger.com and then reading their blogs and doing something else.
I dunno what to talk about now.
The titles I have saved in my phone are...
I have no redeeming qualities.
Not everything in this magical world is what it seems.
Conversation with god.
Libido.
Tell me which one to write about and I'll do whatever most/any people say.
I also have one called awkward lunch but I'm not going to bother talking about it because I didn't write anything under the title. the tl;dr of it is it was just one of those days where you're so terribly awkward and it's just no fun whatsoever.
Grad was really fun. It was kinda bad the way since everybody is there, you can't spend enough time with anybody, but it was still very good.
Here's some real cool songs I've been listening to lately.
In fact, just lash on this playlist.
It's what I've been listening to most days in work.
Everybody keeps asking about a housewarming party and it'd be nice to have one, but the fact is the house is only so big, and it's quite narrow with limited seating so you really can't fit everybody in... Anybody wanna head out this weekend? I'd love to have a big party though.. It's also really hard to get a date that suits most people. This weekend probably would have been good but we just aren't assed I think since grad was last weekend. My bosses birthday is next weekend, it's his 50th. It's 20s and 30s themed and he specifically said "just don't be a bloody gangster, it's so unoriginal.", so any ideas for that would be great!?!
but at least I wouldn't have to pretend not to be bored.
God work was boring today. I was doing something real simple and boring and it just was absolutely no fun whatsoever. It was definitely one of those days where you think, "There's no fucking way I can keep doing this much longer". It was to the point where I was nearly regretting moving out because I can't quit because I need the money. I was thinking if I don't go away skiing I can probably afford to quit after my 6 month probation thing and last out the year lease with some part time job.
I don't regret moving out though. It's a pretty sweet house in a pretty sweet location and it's a great laugh living with friends. If you haven't come to see it yet you should drop by and say "hello James, hello house" and if you smile too I might even make you a cup of tea. Barrys Tea. Gold Blend. (We have green blend at work and it's so fucking bad compared. And no sugar to make it better. )
The gaff's address is {"iv":"HZdZQtJhkdv9+mu0DK2q1g","v":1,"iter":1000,"ks":128,"ts":64,"mode":"ccm","adata":"","cipher":"aes","salt":"D1FPB/uQTW0","ct":"tm97JrZ+v/zLOJWrLEIgmTJby9IUrqkEn6/5svHSOge80PXBkfUPeWrfm4l5F77r3nNl/1R0NS+VY/BSt/wctCrzRXuusiGTk4VIrtS8mqCD0MQ"} so if you're walking by after say 6ish pm on a wkday or at the weekend just gives a buzz cos I'll likely be here.
Work definitely will get more enjoyable. I quite like it at times but just days like today are fucking killer.
Anyway, grad this Friday. Quite looking forward to seeing all the friends. It's kind of annoying that I'll only get to spend so little time with so many people. Too many friends is the problem you see.. Too many different groups. At least we're all going to the same place, and we can basically invite everybody back here too which should be fun.
I miss having a piano already :p, there is a music shop quite nearby if I want to dick about on one at the weekend, but without any musics to learn and with people being there able to listen I probably won't ever bother. My cousin said I could borrow his bigass keyboard but there's nowhere to really put it apart from maybe my room? But then where do I store it. Blegh.
Really hope I don't konk or get too drunk on Friday. It should be a top laugh. Hope everybody is in good form.
So we finally found a place. It's slightly pricier than we'd have liked, but it was basically our upper limit, and it looks nice enough so we figured we'd go for it.
The area could possibly be a bit rough, but sure I'm always game to be a bit tougher. Ykno me. Mad yoke.
I started reading this blog, and it's way better than mine. http://thestoryofstory.wordpress.com/
Truely fantastic stuffs. It's about a US girl who basically went on a "road trip" to get away from college and secretly became a stripper.. Not far into it but so far so great.
I like the imagery in this song, even if it's not the most amazing.
This one's similar vain, slightly nicer song though, less witty more of a point..
Pretty cool album cover innit.
So yeah I'm moving into the place this wkend. Might have no internet for a while. It'll be interesting if nothing else. I have a lot more I want to say but I'm just so friggin' tired, and Shane has done 3 blogs and christine has done one too so I have a lot of reading to do before I can sleep :) !
Was on a Portishead buzz in work today.
God I love Portishead.
But so depressing.
The nicest music seems to be the most depressing. I should make a graph of the niceness : depressingness of artists and see what I should in general listen to.
Oh I got asked:
"life all its cracked up to be so far?"- Eh, all in all, so far, no probably not. I always thought when I was little that life would be very enjoyable and full of new experiences. I actually thought I'd enjoy working hard and making money. Like everybody else I'm slowly growing older and slowly realising that my life isn't going to randomly change itself for the better by itself. And like everybody else I'm making do with what I have since nobody really knows what it'd take for them to be happier.
Keeping an eye open for a better life, but also aware of my psychological baggage that you can't just up and leave.
{"iv":"djsbCN/R+gv7LxPs3Tjduw","v":1,"iter":1000,"ks":128,"ts":64,"mode":"ccm","adata":"","cipher":"aes","salt":"9UBT2T68roE","ct":"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"} I really could do with a meaningful relationship too. I've never really had one. I still want one. One night stands aren't for me. Not at this time in my life anyway.
Accomodation is expensive. You can't buy all of Kimmage for 60 pounds.
Getting a place is really a pain in the ass. Went to see a place in Terenure yesterday with Donal. He quite liked it but I thought it was a dive. Makes me wonder what that place was like in Portobello that he seemed to really like and Gav seemed to not like very much. Donal was saying about the space in that place, but I thought the whole place was kinda cramped. Anyway, it doesn't matter because your mano was saying how it's got families on both sides so there's no tolerance for noise whatsoever.
I really like this song. It reminds me of Elliott Smith.
My phone doesn't come with a pre-installed notes application; I finally got around to downloading one on the dart home one of the days this week though. The dart is where I generally think of most ideas for what to blog about, and not having something to write them down on really makes me just not bother blogging later because I've went to the effort of thinking up some real profound and interesting stuff and then bam, I've to do all that thinking again because I have the memory of a Markovian process (that lil joke would give Matthew Walsh a hard-on. Pity he doesn't read this.). I'm very close to deleting that and just putting in goldfish. I know I'll regret not doing it but whatever.
Funny fact: When I type 20 into my phone, it automatically writes 20bag unless I click to show I meant 20. I'd be worried but I actually haven't been getting bikkied at all lately.
I finally have a laptop which I can actually call my own. In my head it will be the key to productivity and I'll do way more coding. No idea why I think that but we'll see.
I want to finally finish my twin-apps and then write a countdown game and host it on my server so people can play their friends online through my website.
That'd be cool.
I'll leave you with this, it's from a Regina Spektor song.
I think it's a pretty motivational lyric.
Today you're younger than you're ever going to be.
So it's 10 past 1 somehow. Colm came over and we played some foosball (I got a foosball table), then some SARBC as always (and I won. yes yes), and then ff8 of all things. But somehow the time flew by and all of a sudden I'm just back from dropping him home and it's this late.
BLEGH.
Here's a pic that I just got tagged in. Check out how awesome I am.
It's crazy because that isn't a bunch of pictures thrown together. It's actually just one picture, I moved so fast that it just looks like I'm in very specific places at the same time. The reason it's not just a blur is just because.
Ohyeah, so the reason I made this post is because of my dad.
When I got home my sister and her friend were playing on the foosball table. So when my dad gets home a few minutes later he saw them playing, comes into the kitchen and goes:
"James, you might not be a hit with the girls but your foosball table is at least!".
So burned by my own dad.
Thanks dad.
I did laugh until I realised that I should be annoyed or something so I did that instead then.
Here's a song.
It's pimp.
Too pimp.
So pimp in fact that I'm not entirely sure it's not just ripping the piss.
It's been nearly 2 weeks since my last real post, quite a while I guess.
I've been putting off posting so I'm gonna do a real lazy one and just type whatever crosses my mind here.
In the general life front, we haven't found a gaff yet and I've decided I'm going to buy a laptop (I had been leaning towards a pc but I've decided fuck that). The bank balance is nice at the moment. Gonna take a serious hit though when I fork out 900ish quid for a laptop and then moving out will basically halt the growth of my balance. My poor growth :(. It was a rare good sort of growth. Not like a mole or something. Nothing against moles of course. Or people who possess them. Just y'know. Whatever.
Been watching lots of weeds lately. It's a great show. My lil sister was watching it so I figured I'd watch a bit as I was wrecked or something, can't really remember why. But anyway, she's stopped and I'm still going and I thought it'd be fine since Netflix shows 3 seasons of it, but I realised yesterday that there's like 8 seasons of it in total. Fuck that. Doesn't that just seem like an insane amount of effort? Watching THAT much TV? There's like 15 episodes in season 3 anyway, surely there can't be that many in each season right? And it's hardly going to stay good if it's gonna be that long... Does it mean that the show probably isn't that good if I'm complaining about there being too many episodes? Definitely not something I'd complain about for something like Freaks and Geeks.... Hmmmmm.
I lost my almost year long frigidity on Saturday night. It was a weird feeling going that long without even scoring someone and then ending it. I felt like I was cheating on my frigidity. Well. Not actually. But it definitely crossed my mind that I could have went for the year and then it'd be something interesting I did. Sadly not intentionally so it's not actually interesting. Really just depressing. I guess there was nothing to be sad about actually. Ignore me, I'm rambling.
So yeah, I basically got very very drunk. I bought a round of shots since I'm flush now, and I even tipped the barman to be nice, and he didn't give a shit. They never do. Well, I'm basing that on 2 occasions in Ireland. Twice I've been drunk enough to think tipping the barman might get me faster service in future, and twice they've given me looks just shy of disdain. I don't think I made a return trip to the bar this time, but last time I tipped a barman he went on to serve 3 chicks before me even though they weren't at the bar before me. Was a waste of time altogether. The prick.
Sooooooo where am I. Yeah we were dancing away and I saw this real cute girl on the side of the dance floor so I figured I'd go say hello. Which I did, and I got shut down of course as always. I think it was one of those times when you just have no idea what to say and they're just not interested so there's no buzz or anything to joke about and it ends up awkward, but at least I was really drunk so if anything it was only awkward for her. Anyway, no idea what happened next but I ended up kissing this girl, a friend of my friend, who I'd met a few times before but she had always been sorta scoring my mate Colm the other times. He has some Brazillian chick going on now though. I did text him being like would you care etc so I'm grand, and he's the last person in the world to care about that sorta thing. Actually, he'd be the last person in the world to get upset about anything.
I really like the bit,
"I don't know what I am, but a part of that is knowin' what you ain't "
It's very true. I really hope I grow up to be a parent who can tell their kids gems like that. Just profound stuff that grounds you. Gives you a better clue as to what's going on you know?
So the house hunting is going slow. I had this idea in my head there'd be tonnes of deadly gaffs just waiting to be let out, but it's not the case. It's crazy competitive to get a good house it seems. The good ones are gone the evening they're put up. We applied for one today, I emailed about 15 minutes after it went up, and Donal rang about half an hour after that, yet we still haven't heard from them. It was a pretty slick house, had a piano and all. Funny though, one bedroom was sooo nice, huge, and then one was really quite small. Would be interesting to see who would get lumped with what if we get it! It had a piano too which is pretty fucking cool, although it looked ancient from the pics.
Finally got a visa debit card, wayooo, applied for a credit card but they were all like noway son you can't do that shit online cos you only been workin' lyk a month, but they nicely and unexpectedly sent me out the debit card. So this means that I finally got around to buying a google dev account.
There's seriously no excuse not for downloading the new version of the app now, you literally click the link on the right there, click add to chrome, click Add (it doesn't actually monitor your browsing activity, that's just so it can tell when you're on my webpage I think), and then you have the app installed. Next step is go to settings, take that UserID and ask me for a password for that userID and you're done. It'll automatically update in future and will automatically decrypt any interesting stuff I write in the secret bits ;).
Peeeeeeeace out kids <4 (it's like love plus 1, ya geddit? zomg so cute :p:p:p (I'm getting weird I think....));
Oh actually, as an afterthought I'll finally write down this start of a rap I made up the other day.
Thought ( /sorta stole the start) of it while I was listening to this.
I just sorta made it cuter.
It's now no longer about a dysfunctional relationship.
It's about a guy chatting up a girl he just met.
I swear I didn't say this to someone.
Could you like me?
Cos I like you,
You're so damn beautiful that I have to.
And would it help if I could make you laugh too?
Or if I said that there's nothing that I wouldn't do, or say
if it might brighten up your day,
like hey, gimme your hand, for just a little minute
and I'll put my heart in it
and if you don't want it you might as well bin it
cos if you don't want it, well then I don't want it neither.
and if I'm making you feel awkward just say and I can leave here,
cos I don't wanna be near you if that'd make you unhappy,
but if you want me to stay just look at me,
and maybe give me a smile, make my heart stop for a while.
This whole 2012 buzz. World ending etc.
Is it just me or has everybody been really quiet about it lately? All these muzzie nations getting real pissed off at other countries because of what one guy in them said is nuts. Some of these places have nukes and the likes. Shit could pop off so easy and when it does, we're basically all fucked. I'm not really bothered to worry about it though. I'm not worried at all. That'd be a waste of time.
Went cliff jumping with Ryan, his kiwi mate, and Ryan's brother and sister the other weekend. It was actually really, really good fun. I hadn't really seen Ryan's siblings for a while, they've really grown up. His brother is a full on adult now, and his sister is no longer a little kid. How weird is it when you hear someone who you think of as a child saying things about being out in town. It's nuts. Really makes you realise how you're no longer a kid yourself, and also in a way notice how young you were when you used to talk like that.
Anyway, check me out.
I'm gonna be moving out sometime pretty soon with 2 of the lads from college. Actually can't wait. It's going to be so much fun. We're still househunting at the moment, but we reckon somewhere around Rathmines would be ideal. Really looking forward to having a housewarming party, I hope we get a good place for parties, as in a deece amount of space. It'd be handy to have somewhere like that to have parties to keep in touch with the class etc. I'm gonna miss having the piano there, even though I don't play it all that much.
Gonna get a google dev account soon and then you can all (all 3 or something of you) bask in the awesomeness of my app. Going to stick up the encryption side too and maybe charge for it. It'd be cool if even one person bought it I reckon.
Gonna migrate to blogging on my own website one I'm bothered. Don't worry, I'll give you plenty of notice.
Hopefully not too long away......... :P
Anyway, figured I'd just pop in and say hello.
Goodbye.
Has anyone noticed that my blog takes ages to load now?
For some reason blogspot is getting really shit...
Going to have to migrate this yoke to my website when I'm bothered..
Just lashing this up for the following reason.
I finally got around to making my blog-app auto update and did various little bug fixes with it.
You can download it by clicking on the nifty "locked-freedom" picture on the right.
To be honest, if you download this you'll need to download it again in a little while (as soon as my credit card arrives) when I put it on the chrome web-store as opposed to my server that it's on now since I'll stop updating the one I'm hosting... (If that doesn't make sense to you, don't worry about it and don't bother downloading it).
The reason I'm posting this is because I need 1 or 2 testers for this version. By testers I just mean download it, get a password and tell me if it breaks.
Anyway, one trick to downloading it.
Click the button, it'll download.
Then it'll say it's not coming from the Google Chrome webstore so you can't install it. That's a lie. Google is lying to you.
So, type chrome://extensions in the url bar. Drag the downloaded file into this page and it'll install.
Badabing, Badaboom.
Hadn't played squash in 2 weeks. Doesn't sound like a long time but I'm so wrecked after that training just there I don't think I'd be even able to sleep. -What?
I get so square eyed these days.
Reading stuff on screens all day in work just fucks with my eyes, and then if I have nothing to do when I get home I just watch tv / dick about on the computer, so it just makes it even worse. Right now my eyes are so fucked I can barely see. Thank god for sleep eh?
And thanks to Shane for linking this pretty slick band to me.
My cousin's wedding was last weekend. It was amazing fun. It's great seeing your relatives, you forget how nice they are to you. Full of compliments so they are that lot.
It was a weird wedding because none of the cousins were invited apart from us since we're very close to the bride as we live near them. My aunts and uncles though are great fun altogether. The dancing was gas craic.
I was giving it socks.
Went to Electric Picnic the next day. Caught up with Shane in Athy and we popped over. It was good fun, especially getting loadsa free booze from Colm. First place we looked for him and there he was behind the counter. That's the thing about those things actually. It's fucking impossible to find anyone. Especially with smartphones. Signals better these days, but battery life is shite. I charged my phone that morning and it still died after about an hour after getting there.
Ended up getting not quite drunk enough and then a bit too bikkied a bit too early and just basically sat down by a fire and wanted to go to sleep. It was good fun all the same though, but so much for planning on pulling a britch or 2 that weekend.
My little sister is finally back from Canada for the summer, and we watched the movie Death Proof the other night. I thought it was really good anyway. Also, The Runway is another one we watched and that's pretty slick too. Totally different, very Irish.
When I was little I used to feel unsure of things; underconfident and insecure.
I thought adults had it all figured out.
I thought adults knew what they wanted in life.
I thought they were all sure of themselves.
Most importantly, I thought they were all wise.
I know better now.
I'm not sure of what I want from life, and I guess I am an adult now, but I look around me and see nobody else knows either.
Nobody is as confident as I had thought.
Nobody is that clued in tranquil person I used to think existed.
I don't know anybody who is wise when it comes to human nature.
I think perhaps growing up is simply realising this.
It's realising the world isn't what you thought.
It's not this place where everybody is mentally secure.
Old people are insecure too.
Old people revisit regrets from time to time.
Nobody can know for sure why people act the way they do. Nobody always knows for sure what the right thing to do is.
Nobody is that wise old granny in that film you saw.
I like to think Skye Edwards, (the chick from morcheeba) has it figured out, because that's the way her music makes her appear. And although I'd probably like to meet her most out of everybody in the world, I'd hate to meet her to find out she's the same as me. The same as you. The same as everybody.
I suppose there's comfort in knowing we're all in it together.
We all flicker together in this world, wildly and aimlessly together, and in a few moments we rejoin the dirt.
Life comes and life goes, on and on again.
There's some amount of beauty in it.
There's sadness too, but it's not real sadness.
If our time wasn't limited would we value life so much?
If we could truly grasp it's limit would we value our time more, or would we simply panic?
These guys are a big faggoty but it's relevant to what I'm saying here.
One lyric from The Herd that I really really like is:
But yet the most important thing that's ever happened to me,
And that will set you free"
The whole song has amazing lyrics actually. It's worth a read and a ponder, even if you don't want to listen to the song.
They make better points than I ever could. Ray of Sun Lyrics
It's funny actually. People always ask the big question.
What do you think happens when you die?
Does it not only make sense that after death is the same as before life?
How can people expect that you still live on after death, unless they believe that you existed before birth?
Re-incarnation is the only belief I could possibly buy into. How can people be so hopeful as to expect that souls can be created but not destroyed?
This is going to make me sound like a weirdo I'm sure, but I've had a number of dreams that have stuck with me. I remember having these dreams when I was very little. Well obviously I don't actually remember. But I assume I had these dreams when I was very young and it's so long ago now I can't really remember when exactly, they've just sort of always been with me.
In one I was an old adult, lying on my deathbed in some place. I had family or friends around me and then I died. I rose out of my body and they cried I think. They were sad but I wasn't. That was it.
In another one I was in a big huge circular open room in the clouds. It was some sort of ball or party or something, I'm not quite sure. There were lots of us, and we were afraid. We were waiting to be born but I didn't want to go. Going meant that I would have to say goodbye forever to my loved ones. I had no choice though. I had to go. So I did.
Nobody knows what is on either side of life.
We just have to enjoy the ride.
I told myself a short while ago that I should smile at randomers more. I don't smile enough. If I make eye contact with a girl I very rarely smile unless I'm on a night out. I should smile but I'm always paranoid that I'll be like that guy who waves back at someone who isn't waving at them. Also, maybe I don't have a nice smile. When I'm drunk I might think I look like this:
Or even this:
but what if I actually come across more like this.
This song's pretty copasetic.
I was also thinking of winking at girls sometimes. Winks are so cheeky. Yeah I think I just need to not worry and smile at people more anyways. This kinda ties in with something I had been meaning to talk about actually.
Hot girls on the dart.
They're rare, but when they happen, I always kinda hope they don't sit next to me. That's really just not natural is it? You know you're in for an awkward dart trip home when there's some sweet sitting opposite you. You want to look at them, but then you don't want to be obviously looking at them. And if you do make eye contact the chances are you both have earphones in so you can't say anything even if you had the balls to, and you can't smile in case they think you're a freak and want to change seats. That'd be the worst, if you're that guy who makes them feel so uncomfortable that they want to change seats but train etiquette dictates they're not allowed unless a fully empty set of seats opens up. You also want to talk to them, but that's really just way out of train etiquette. If everybody could talk to anybody they like on the DART it'd just be such a pain in the ass getting it everyday.
I'd never choose to sit down next to a hot girl on the dart, I'd always choose some middle aged man ahead of them. But then ironically I do get slightly offended when there's not many empty seats but people still don't sit next to me even though it's the obvious choice.
Do I look dirty? Do I smell? Do I look like high or drunk? Or someone who's likely to get sick on them?
Or wet myself? Did I wet myself? No, I definitely didn't wet myself. Not yet.
So why don't you sit next to me??
Eh?
Do I make hot girls feel like that when I choose to sit next to some 90 year old incontinent woman?
I doubt it. I'd say they know exactly what's going on. I don't want to come across as a freak, and we're both better off for it.
I'm not trying to say I'm the equivalent of a hot girl in case anybody gets that notion. My point is I'm a very regular looking guy. If somebody said I need a typical male, I think I could probably do that job. I should be easy to sit next to.
[edit: I just realised that I probably only think I'm typical looking because I'm the guy that I've seen the most in the world. Most people probably think they're typical looking? Although, I'm average height, average build, most common hair colour, common skin colour... I am pretty typical :p]
Actually watch this video. It's so gooood.
This isn't the actual music for it but it's nicer music than the original I reckon.
Pro Squash player:
I've always had this thought in my head that I probably could have succeeded at anything I wanted. I think most people nowadays feel that way. I'm not going to lie, I'm actually quite good at any sport I try. I don't think I've ever had a sport where I just suck ass at it. Unless skateboarding counts. I sucked hard at that when I tried it as a kid.
I never actually started getting properly good at any sports until I was about 16. I started playing a lot of squash then and it just improved my balance, coordination and strength for pretty much everything. I still never over-achieved at squash though. I played for the province but never made the Irish team. I never really tried to though either. I had it in my head that other people were better than me even when they weren't. I never had the drive for it. Same problem with sailing.. Sorta. I always had a sucky ass boat with old ass sails. But even if I was doing okay in races I'd do worse than I should because I'd get out of peoples way just because they'd say so, even if I had right of way. And I'd give them room around marks even if I had no reason to let them in.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I, of all people, wasn't competitive enough in competitions. I was definitely competitive around my friends, but mentally I never cared enough to be a competitive dick to people I didn't know.
I always get told I have a lovely style of play for squash. A natural or whatever. I kinda always just thought people said that to every young player, but since I still get told it sometimes I guess it must be true. A guy at training the other night told me pretty adamantly that he thinks I could have gone pro if I had really tried. (There's no money professional squash really so I was never going to.) He also told me to get angry on court and not be so pleasant, because it's hard to win if you're not really engaged in the match. That is definitely true. If I'm having a laugh and really enjoying the match I always play way worse.
I was also told I'm hitting the ball better now that I ever have before which is weird since I haven't been playing too much.
In conclusion, I've definitely underachieved at sports because I've not had the drive to win, but I've enjoyed them so fuck it. I think working actually does give me an extra drive to try in squash somehow. I find I work a bit harder in training now.
Sarah said I never mention people in my blog posts when we had our super sexy lunch date today. Thanks Sarah for meeting me for lunch, you da best. Work was SO boring today and will be for the next 2 days. The guy training me is away and I've been left with not a lot to do and I'm not 100% on what exactly I have to do of the little bit I have. It's frightful boring. If anybody wants to meet me for lunch around baggot st area around 1pm please do so I can justify taking my whole hour of a lunch break.
Peace out.
Stay classy guys.
I love you. Quick question.
Please answer it in the anonymous ("Ask me anything") box on the top right!
I noticed I still got a few blog hits since my last post which is weird. I used to get none when I'd stop blogging for a few days.
Do you check my blog regularly, do you know my in person?
And what do you like (or dislike if you wanna be a dick) about my blog?
