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Tuesday, 22 February 2011

My First Blog Post

Blog post number 1. If you're reading this you're probably never going to visit my blog again.

Engineering ball last night. It was fun. I have a hangover. I remember nothing of the club and am now listening to the Streets. This is what a blog should look like right? Since I have a lack of memory I'm going to make up a story of what happened in the club last night.

I had the most savage dream this morning by the way. It was so colourful, I think there were colours I've never seen before but I'm getting totally sidetracked from my mission at hand here.

So I went to the club like a boss. Scored 4 girls in the queue in, a bit slow by my standards but like, you can't help it if you're in a frigid queue. Anyways, got inside and everybody wanted to buy me drinks, so I let them (never one to let people down) even though I had snook in 2 naggins. This lead to me taking like 6 shots in the first 5 minutes I'm in there. Being the sesh-lejj like I am I know to tone it down for the next while if I'm to do myself any justice with the house-clunge the club is offering. But being the sesh-lejj I also decide to show off to the lads and down one of my naggins, no chaser cos afterall I'm the original lad.
So I mosey on over to the dancefloor and the females just gather around me. To be honest I don't know how it works but apparently I just have an animal magnetism. Anyways, while I'm on the dancefloor I'm starting to get seriously pissed off. Sarah Moron is falling all over the gaff knocking my girls over. I've only scored like 3 of the girls so far and they're starting to disperse since this drunk bitch is everywhere. My 5-some is never going to happen at this rate and the original lad here knows when a cause is lost, so he fucks off out to the smoking area to the lads.
Out in the smoking area shits getting funny. My mate is totally fucked off his head and is stripping in the corner. Big sexy dance for his mates. And while this is going his girlfriend comes up, throws a drink on his face, gives him a slap and walks off. Everyone breaks their shit laughing and it's high5s being flown in to the guy from everywhere. He doesn't even know whats going on though and starts to freak out that everybodys coming over to him. He tries to peg it but has his kacks around his ankles and just floors himself. While on the ground he just moans "Ahh Pants.". Funny guy.
So now seems like an appropriate time to down my second naggin, chased with beer as I'm starting to feel worse for wear. I stumble back inside and have to get my trademark leaving the beer garden score, pull some random dime into me and she's melted already. Couldn't actually get the bitch off my face. Anyways, I walk back to the dancefloor and Moron has finished making a fool of herself, presumably a bouncer has taken care of her. So I score a few babes and the naggins catch up with me. I get sick EVERYWHERE. Like all over these 2 girls. Who thankfully I don't know their names otherwise I'd have to say sorry or something.
After that it's just a blackout.


  1. This Moron sounds like quite the babe.

  2. She's completely ficticious. But were she real I'd say she sounds like "clearly a one troubled girl."!

  3. Love the use of the word mosey