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Sunday, 29 July 2012

I'm sorry, this just isn't working for me.

I'm late as always. Just as well I wasn't born a girl or I'd be shitting it the whole time.
Except for I wouldn't because you can't get pregnant from lack of sex (yeah whatever Mrs Mary Christ).

I start work in the morning so I should really keep this short and go to sleep.
I'm actually quite excited. Surprising myself here. I'm sure that I'll feel different come half 7 am tomorrow.

Just watched Sleepers with the parents. I had seen it before quite a while ago. It was great, definitely worth a watch if you're looking for something kinda heavy.

Yeah so the title is re: frequent blog posting. I can't do this twice a week bullshit. Since I started it I don't write posts unless it's a Sunday or Thursday, even if I have something that I want to talk about. So then I forget the good ideas and end up writing kinda filler posts like this one. So yeah, my posts are just gonna  be whenever I feel like it again. I'll try not become job obsessed and write loads of stuff about my job because people don't really care. That's something I've realised, nobody wants to hear about how someone you work with is a dickhead etc. Or at least I usually just don't give a shit when other people start telling me mildly interesting stories about people who I don't know.

The title of this song is great.
[I see they changed it.. It had been called Orgasm Music.]

Thursday, 26 July 2012

Things are looking up at me while I surf the clouds.

I'm actually getting a little excited to start work.
Crazy eh?
I really hope I like it. They seemed like a cool enough bunch, and they didn't seem to have too high expectations of me, although I'm pretty sure they're gonna expect me to learn things real fast.

It's sunny as shit out today. Wish I had something outdoorsy to do. Playing 2 matches of squash later so I don't want to get wrecked either. Life is full of opportunity costs. The roads not taken.

My lovely car passed the NCT today. Congratulations to my car.

I really want to get drunk and go somewhere where I can just be a creep. It looks like I have to wait until Saturday, which sucks because that's ages away and I want to go get drunk now. I have limited time left until I start work, which really means I have limited time until my summer is over. My last long break from doing anything and I successfully score NO girls whatsoever during it. I've enjoyed it sure, but it'd be nice to have some names for the book, ykno? I'll probably be a state on Saturday night. We're going to pygmalion I think. It seems like it's a slightly older persons place. Last time we were there I got very drunk. Probably too drunk. This time I want to get JUST as locked. I'd kinda prefer to go somewhere more nightclubby than bar though, but at least it's not the fucking Workmans. I fucking hate the fucking Workmans. It's just full of people who don't want to mingle, and freaks. Like drunk old mental men. Probably a lot like everywhere else in fairness but in the Workmans it's bright enough to realise it. Shithole.

I have a bottle of prosecco or something that my neighbour gave me that I should probably open at some stage. Oh yeah, my dad came home from his sailing trip yesterday, and today he told me he wants to get me a present to congratulate me for graduating college and getting a job. So it's looking like either a bike or a laptop at the moment, but I'm not sure. I don't really want a laptop because well, it's a laptop... I'd rather something fun. I hope work give me a laptop to use and I can get something I can get enjoyment out of from dad. Anybody have any ideas?

Crystal Castles

Monday, 23 July 2012

Vests and other stuff

(Yeah I'm late. So sue me.)
I've started wearing plain white vests. They're uber-cumfy. Probably just because they're new, but I haven't worn vests in years and boy was I missing out.

Love this

So I got asked loads of questions a while back and I'll finally try answer them now.

"Anyone you know that you particularly envy, and why?"- 
Tough question... There's a lot of aspects of different people that I envy, but no single person who I would swap places with. Some people seem happy all the time but I think the whole social media thing really fucks up your view on other people. If I look at someone's facebook they'll be smiling or having a laugh in all the pictures, which just gives you this impression that they're always happy but in reality they're obviously not like that all the time. A lot of the time I wish I could be one of those people who didn't give a shit about eating animals. It's nothing but an inconvenience and I used to get quite depressed about it. It's just like how there's nothing I personally can do about starving/sick children or torture or wars or all this other horrible shit that happens in the world. There's all this stuff going on in the world and if one thing would make my life happier, it'd be if I didn't give a shit about any of it.

"what's your favourite thing about yourself?"-
Even tougher question.. I was going to say my killer abs, but we all know that's not true. Then I was thinking I like the fact that I don't get worked up over pointless shit like a lot of people do. But then again, sometimes I wish I would get more excited about things. I like that I'm pretty quick at learning sports? That's a bit of a boring one though. How about, my favourite thing about myself is my friends. Awww

"which of your friends would be the most likely to get arrested?"-
I was going to say Padz because he's the kind of unfortunate prick who would get arrested for something stupid just because he doesn't know how to just apologise when he shouldn't have to. Something most guys learn from dickhead teachers in secondary school to avoid detention but he seemingly never did. He'd say he can't swallow his pride, I'd say he can't prioritise. But then I scrolled through my phone contacts and came across Kelly. I definitely wouldn't be surprised if Kelly told me she got arrested for something. Probably for breaking some guys arm.

"if you could choose a different career path, what would it be?"-
Professional fun maker. Or, Professional world sadness curer.

"whats your deepest darkest secret?"-
I have some secrets I guess. None that I'd describe as dark though. It's no longer really a secret if I tell you it is it? To be fair, I would like to answer all these questions completely honestly, but I can't spill a secret that involves another person. I'll try think of something though. Hmmmmm.
Ahright, this one isn't really a secret because I don't mind telling people this, but it's something I obviously don't go around telling everybody. 


I remember being quite embarrassed about it so I was hoping people wouldn't find out, which for the most-part they didn't, but my mum told her sister who told her daughter so I'm pretty sure a good few of my cousins found out. Scarlet.
Actually, I bet they all thought I got it from tossing off too much. Had never thought about that before. Igh

Friday, 20 July 2012

quick update

I got asked loads of questions on formspring, unfortunately I was quite busy today so I didn't get around to writing a blog post. I got a job, a real job. Scary eh? I was hoping to earn a bit more but it seems like a pretty good place to work and it's located along the dart line so that's handy enough.

Going out to get drunk as people do.
Normal service will resume on Sunday.

On an unrelated note,
remember this tune?

Thursday, 19 July 2012

meh, i'll do it tomorrow.

Big respect for checking if anybody does though.

Sunday, 15 July 2012

Things people say that annoy me.

-Warning, this has become a very moany post.-

1. Guesstimate. Sorry Dave, that is just one shitty ass word. It's supposed to be a mix of guess and estimate.
Lets do a quick google: Define guess

Estimate or suppose (something) without sufficient information to be sure of being correct.
An estimate or conjecture.

And now, google: Define estimate

Roughly calculate or judge the value, number, quantity, or extent of.
An approximate calculation or judgment of the value, number, quantity, or extent of something.

So from that, it's pretty plain to see the ONLY difference between a guess and an estimate, is that a guess is missing information that it needs.

So what the fuck is a guesstimate then, well google says

An estimate based on a mixture of guesswork and calculation.
Form such an estimate of.
So a guesstimate is a mixture of guesswork and calculations.... So it's an answer where you don't have sufficient information to be sure of being correct....Which, going back up to our definition of a guess, is shockingly the same thing.
So what I conclude is, a guesstimate is just a word people use to sound like their guess is a clever guess, whereas in reality it's just a fucking guess so stop making yourself sound like a dick.

2.Over-exaggerate. I'm not sure who says this really, but whenever I hear it it's nearly always not what the person means to say. Just say exaggerate please unless you know you mean to say over-exaggerate.

  1. Represent (something) as being larger, greater, better, or worse than it really is.
  2. Enlarged or altered beyond normal or due proportions.

Over-exaggerate could only mean that you exaggerated too much. Lets think of a pretty typical time I hear this.
Person: Lets get a hot chocolate in there.
Me: But they're a 5er, I dunno.
Person: Nah it's worth it, they're really big.
Me: Okay sure thing.
Me: This is tiny, what were you on.
Person: Yeah, it is quite small, sorry, I guess I over-exaggerated how big they are...
Me: *shudders*

When something like that happens it makes me think, "you dick, why were you exaggerating in the first place?". What the person has said is they were exaggerating the size of it, but they exaggerated too much. It makes sense to say over-exaggerated if say I'm selling apples, and my boss tells me, make people think we have more apples than we do, so instead of being honest and saying I have 5 apples, I say I have 5 billion apples, and then people are just like yeah sure thing you do you liar. Then I could say I over-exaggerated, instead of regularly exaggerating... I'm sorry for dragging this point out so far but I'm pretty hungover and this just seems terribly important right now.

3. Few naggins, be grand.
Well aren't you just the height of fucking cool and originality, you big college kid you.

Put them all together and what do we get?

"zOMG, it was just a guesstimate, so maybe I over-exaggerated a little, but sure, few naggins, be grand."
- urghhhhh

Had a pretty funny moment last night. I didn't have dinner before heading out so I ended up getting pretty drunk off not a huge amount. So I fell asleep on the nitelink as always, and got woken up by the driver while he was on his way back to town. I had sent Shane a text earlier and for some reason that must have crept into my head in my sleep because I dreamt that he rang me saying lets hang out and watch peep show. So when I got booted off the bus I rang Shane to get a lift home and so we could watch peep show. Needless to say he had been fast asleep and yeahhhh. So I walked home.

Onto the trusty questions....

"Forget 10 years, what 5 things do you want in 5 years? (can be experiences, things, anything). What is preventing you from attaining these right now? (other then finishing that game of online chess)."-
I knew exactly who had asked me this question. Mainly because none of my other friends would bother having a list of 5 things they want to do in 5 years. It's a hard question because I literally don't have 5 things I want to do. I'll try give it a go.
1. Getting my fill of skiing would be nice.
2. Some relationships obviously.
3. Move out.
4. Live abroad.
5. I really don't know....
Mainly money is preventing me from those "goals" apart from #2 obviously, which I dunno what's preventing me really, just myself.

"what type of people do you not get on with bar obvious assholes?"-
I can take quite a while to warm to some people.... Mainly overly loud and opinionated people, but I wouldn't say I don't get on with them, I definitely think they don't like me very much though. I'm too literal and "realistic" (for want of a better word) in what I say, I don't exaggerate enough. Overly cool and confident people also take a while for me to decide if they're a dickhead or not. It's hard to trust people who come off very socially confident, because from my experience they're the kind of people who are most often assholes. People who don't enjoy my sense of humour I generally try to avoid having to spend time with. 
Anyway, enough of this.
Til Thursday chaps and chapettes.

Thursday, 12 July 2012

10 year plan

I think I should make some sort of 10 year plan. A lot of people have a vague idea what they want from their life, some people (like my sister) plan basically every day of their entire life. I've never really had to plan much ahead of the immediate future, but it's about time I started. Trying to get a job and not hearing back from anywhere kinda gets me to thinking that maybe I should try get a non-computery job for the meantime 'til I get real work. I'll give it a while longer though.

So, I think if I get some computer-nerd job for 1 or 2 years maybe, save enough but move out of home anyway. Then I'd like to move to New Zealand for a few years. I think 24ish would be a pretty solid age to be moving somewhere like that. I realise at this stage this is more like a 5 year plan than a 10 year plan, but sure feck it. I tried.

We have painters in at the moment. It's a wreck the head. My mum was meant to be going away a bit over these few weeks where dad is away sailing, which would have been great because I could have had some parties and stuff. But noooo, instead I have painters in so I can't even feel comfortable lounging about my house. How am I supposed to spend all day watching tv, messing about on the computer, eating and playing piano if there's a painter in judging me for being the lazy asshole that I am... It's awful.


"I think you should start guessing who asks you what." - Nah, that'd spoil the fun. I usually have some idea but people won't like to ask things if I'm going to call them out for asking it.

"can a person really change who they are?"- Yep, all you have to do is a "deed poll" apparently. Can a person change the way they are? Of course, people change their personalities and opinions on things the whole time throughout their life. Not at the snap of a finger though.

Sunday, 8 July 2012

Prince not so charming

I've started learning this on the piano. I really like it. It's pretty pimps but it's making me left hand sore.

So what's been up.....
I went surfing last week with Ryan. It was a very spontaneous little trip, was good fun and maaad cheap actually. Stayed in this hostel in lahinche which was 20 quid a night (only stayed for 1) but they had like 3 surf boards there so I got to borrow one, and they didn't mind us dropping it back pretty late the next day or using the showers even though we weren't staying that night. Pretty solid lil deal.
Surfing is so exhausting though. It wasn't that wavey which was good for me I guess since I'm shit at it, only got going properly like once. It's gas the way you're just paddling out and you're near other people, and relative to them you're basically not moving so it feels like you've gone nowhere until you turn around and realise you're quite a way from the shore.

What else...
I went to Galway for the volvo ocean race this week with Colm and Dave, and Scurf came down the next day. It was really good fun. The highlight was probably Dave telling a girl that he was really surprised she doesn't masturbate because she comes across quite horny. Luckily for him she wasn't very phased by it, it would have been amazing if she took offence. Galway people are awful weed scabs too. It ended up being a bit more of an expensive trip than I had hoped but while we were there I met up with my relatives, and one of my uncles gave me green moneys yo' (100 euro note), which incidentally almost nowhere accepts.

I've just been buzzing about really. Few house parties and the likes. Nothing of any interest really to talk about I'm afraid. Played some squash and also some tennis with Shane. Usually I flick on wimbledon and then want to play tennis. This year I just happened to want to play tennis, then Shane told me wimbledon was on so I watched the final there. Tennis is a real effort to watch, especially if you don't mind who wins. It goes on for agesssssss and every game is basically the same.

So now.....
I've been real shit about the whole job searching lately. I applied to a few and didn't really hear much back, then I went on that surf trip, went to some parties, went to Galway, another party so it's been like a week and a bit since I've actually applied to anything..... I was going to do some little coding stuffs today but didn't get around to it. The lads are going to the pub now, but I think I'll give it a miss. My big sis is back from NY at the moment and she's even worse than Ryan for getting me to do stuff. She wants me to go shopping with her tomorrow to get work/interview clothes. Stress of that. I fucking hate shopping. I've been playing sooo much of this amazing game called Mount and Blade lately. It's sorta turning into my life ^^.

On my endeavours to be more charming....
So at one of my friends house parties the other night I did something really really bent. It was dickheadish. We were dancing in a circle or something, and my friend started coming over to the group, so I said really loudly "Oh no, she's coming over." intending her to hear it, but she thought I didn't think she could hear me apparently, so she turned around. She didn't believe me that I wanted her to hear it at first but I think she did eventually. I'm so used to making jokes like that with moo or the lads that I forget sometimes people might not instinctively know I'm joking. If I had heard someone say that about me I dunno if I'd believe they were joking. My sense of humour is far too cruel for my own good. I'm too sarcastic, sometimes it's more-so lying for the craic than sarcasm.
Define Sarcasm: "a sharply ironical taunt; sneering or cutting remark"s
Yeah I definitely would rather say I lie for the crack than making cutting remarks. My favourite jokes are the ones where I make people think for a bit that I'm an absolute idiot, but they have to be pretty rare otherwise people just know immediately it's a joke. 
I met someone much more sarcastic than me in Galway. She was friends with this annoying chick who had just given birth. Let's call them sarko and wagon. I asked for a light from wagon and she eventually let me light off her cigarette and so to be nice I reluctantly bottled it and let her have a toke, so the bitch took a whopper toke and immediately passed it to sarko who took a big drag and then wagon grabbed it back off her and was taking another big drag when I snatched it off her. I tried to get the lads to move on but they started talking to sarko and wagon when they walked after me to stinge some more. This was the very end of my bag by the way. Some context; I always only really pack the top 2/3 of a joint so you don't have to smoke the nasty bit near the roach, and some random lad the night before smoked about 1/3 the joint after I used his lighter, he was being bent and he knew it. I forgot my lighter that night, the next night one of the lads had borrowed it hence all the asking for lights.
So anyway, I wasn't feeling very generous and was kinda pissed off they were following us but it was grand in the end anyway. For whatever reason childbirth came up and I said something about it being so fucking disgusting; blood and shit and other gross substances. Then wagon says something like, "If anyone should be smoking that joint it should be me. I just gave birth! (we were sharing with her at this stage btw, no idea why she said that)", and I can't really remember what I replied, but I was pretty much taken aback. I think I said something kinda mean because I still wanted her to fuck off since she was annoying. Something like "Jeeze, if I had just given birth I wouldn't be out getting drunk and smoking joints. Who is looking after your baby?", and then she goes like "Well I haven't actually just given birth, but if I had I'd expect you to be nicer! You're some dickhead.". Then she fucked off and we were left talking to sarko. She basically didn't answer a single question seriously and kept telling us we were all making no sense but she stuck around, no idea why. It was very, very funny actually, Dave has these converse shoes that are actually slip ons but have holes for laces like this.

At one stage he said something or other, and sarko notices he does't have laces so she starts laughing her hole off going "Sure what dyu know! You don't even have lacers!!", real emphasis on the word lacers. She said it a number of times and Colm and I were laughing pretty hard at her saying lacers instead of laces, but I think she thought we were laughing at Dave for having no "lacers" so it was all pretty good. Lacers is a great word though in all fairness. It's really fun to say. After a bit sarko told us that wagon actually does have a kid and that was her boyfriend over there blah, blah, blah. So weird that she had lied about it. I wanted to go over and say sorry and also maybe tell her to never lie about not having a kid again because that's fucked up yo, she should be proud in fairness and not lying about it.... But anyway I didn't because her boyfriend and his mate were standing with her and it'd just have been awkward for everybody. 

Right I've waffled a shit tonne now at this stage. I've been writing this post for ages........
Sorry for posting it so late today, but here it is budz.

Thursday, 5 July 2012

Prince Charming

I had an epiphany. Legit.
Not really though, but I have a new plan.

I've always changed the reason why I'm pretty bad at pulling. For ages I thought I was just lacking confidence, then I thought I was lacking motivation, then I very briefly thought I wasn't very good looking (until I fortunately walked by a mirror), I've also thought I need to be more of a dickhead (but then I thought about it and I'm plenty enough of a dickhead to be fair) and once I even nearly thought maybe I'm just not funny, but I am, and if a girl didn't find me funny or fun she's probably very boring so I'm not missing out.
So my new theory is I just need to be more charming. I was thinking about it and I realised that I'm not actually very charming. Going to definitely make a little more effort to be charming. I'm not really sure how, but I'll just generally try to be less cynical, not talk myself down, and try to find trivial things genuinely interesting.

"what do you feel your best when your doing?"- Ehhhh, hard to say.... A single answer.... I'd say skiing. You're basically going quickly, exercising, and trying to survive. You don't get too cold or too hot most of the time, because you're so warm from exercising, but it's so cold outside so you can easily make the perfect medium. Sometimes when I'm playing squash my mind starts to wander, I'll randomly be thinking of lyrics to songs during rallys or something. Maybe it's just because I'm better at squash than skiing, but for me that doesn't really happen too much when I'm skiing because there's repercussions for not paying attention while skiing, so it takes your whole mind. You have no worries because you can't afford to be thinking about them.  You're purely living in the moment. You're operating at a more basic level and it feels great..
Actually, by all this I reckon I'd love boxing. Although that's quite bad for you so what are ya gonna do. Anything dangerous would do, but I'm too much of a puss to do base jumping or something like that.


Sunday, 1 July 2012

Drugs in Ireland

So I started writing this a few days ago, and got distracted and just yeah that was it....
I'm going to become a regular blogger. Probably the opposite of what you had expected given my recent shittyness, but I'm going to make an effort to blog twice a week. Sunday, and Thursday we'll say. Might have to change it but that's what we'll run with for now.

I was thinking about this randomly (in the shower, where I do most of my thinking really); what percent of people take what drugs in Ireland, I know they change a lot dependant on age so I'm going to just go for the 20-30 age bracket.
So here's my estimates, feel free to input. These are just roughly based on people I know/what I've seen or heard about.
We're not talking once off here, we'll say at least twice a year.

Alcohol - 99%
Tobacco - 50-70% (although frequent users would be ~30% I'd say)
Marijuana - 40-60% (taken with tobacco nearly always, frequent users ~30%)
MDMA/Ecstasy/Ketamine/etc - 25-35%
LSD/Shrooms/etc - 10-20%
Cocaine - 10-20 % increasing as you go further towards 30, due to cost.
Heroin/opiates/etc - about 1% ?
Crystal Meth - I haven't heard of anybody doing it in Ireland... I'd want to say about 1 in 10,000 but that could be so so far off.... Maybe I just live in too nice an area.

Just did that really quickly so probably left out a bunch of obvious drugs...

People keep telling me they never watch these videos. I get the impression nobody watches them, some people (*cough dave*) seem to think telling me that should bring me down or surprise me, but it's fine. I watch them, so it bothers me not.

"what would you do if you slept with someone you just met, only to subsequently find out that they then paid you for your services? would you be weirded out and give it to charity or would you just take the money and spend it on something nice?" - This is such a weird question.... Did this happen to someone? I can narrow this question down to about 2 or 3 people I'd say, just based on how it's written.... Anyway, this is a completely unrealistic situation I can barely get my head around it to answer it. Just to clarify, the situation is I pulled and sexed some chick and then she gives me money afterwards thinking I was a gigolo? Or is it just I was so good they felt they were obliged to pay me? Presumably not that. Either way I'd give the money back to them and probably laugh at them and make light of the situation... I wouldn't sleep with someone who I didn't want to, so it'd be ridiculous for them to pay me because if I wanted to they were clearly daycent enough and could get some sexy times for free handy enough anyway.