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Saturday, 28 January 2012

Welcome to another entry in my online diary of super secret secrets. (This one has no secrets).

People keep telling me they don't watch the videos I link, well if you don't watch them just skip this post. 
See ya later Saz.
This is a great song (I really enjoy trying to sing along all high pitchy, but I fail horribly).
The video is okay, it's a little whatever but it's still nice and creepy.

This one has a really nice video actually, worth watching while you listen.

I know I'm real late jumping on the band wagon for this Gotye lad but he's pretty cool from what I've seen so far.

Tuesday, 24 January 2012

Some day I'll try harder.

^The picture is fairly self-explanatory I think... It has nothing to do with how I'm feeling at the moment, I couldn't sleep so I decided to draw something and I ended up with this.

Been listening to these lads "Hermitude" a lot over the last bit. Shane burnt me a slick-ass CD of them. 2 CDs actually. Thanks Shane. I don't think I've linked these songs before.

This one is especially catchy

Sunday, 22 January 2012

22 ew

I was going to draw something alike that but instead I did a quick google and found this gem. I don't think I could have done anything near as cool.

Felt very hungover today. Cheerier though since last night was pretty good fun, despite Dave being all mopey about getting no play. Weh weh weh.

Here's a wee timeline of what I've wanted most from life so far.
To be honest I don't know if I wanted to be Thomas the tank engine, but I wouldn't be surprised if I did. I loved that show.

There probably are a lot more things I could throw in there but for the sake of simplicity I'll leave it at that.

I'm not going to force any music on anybody tonight...
Oh wait I will, here.

Thursday, 19 January 2012

3 day weekend and I'm unbelievably un-excited.

I don't know what it is with this time of year but I always feel pretty down quite a bit in the 2nd semester of college. Usually it kicks in later in the year but presumably from lack of skiing and general fun I'm feeling like a mopey prick this evening.

I need to start playing squash again or something because I have nothing fun to do, ever. I'm presently sitting in college wasting time until I can get a nicer dart home. What I mean by nicer is: not cramped and not smelling of wet dog. I hate getting the dart home between half 4 and 7.
When I get home I forsee boredom. It's a Thursday and I have no college tomorrow, in 1st or 2nd year that would have been great news. I'd probably have tried to convince some people to head out. I'd be getting drunk and be hungover and happy to be doing nothing tomorrow. Instead of that plan (which doesn't even sound very tempting anymore) I'm probably going to end up just watching lots of That 70s Show tonight, hopefully with my sister if she's around. Tomorrow I'm probably going to sleep in until 4pm for lack of a tempting reason to get out of bed. I'll then be pissed off that I haven't read over this crap for my supervisor. I'll be pissed off that I wrote that here since that has basically solidified the fact that I won't get it done.

I decided a while ago that I'd try to go to the Pav every Friday since I don't have many Pav-Fridays left, and the weekend is the only time I can head out so if I want to head out with college peeps it has to be Friday. I actually couldn't give much of a crap if people do head out tomorrow night. If we do it'll probably just be a couple, like 4 or 5 as always, of people from c/cd/d and it'll be a bit shit like usual. It normally is a bit crap when it's not a whole year thing.

My sister last night was shocked when I told her I had blogged since a few months ago. When I asked why she was so surprised she goes, "I just didn't think you'd have enough to talk about to write blogs. Like you never have anything to say to me so what are you going to say on your blog?".
I guess since most of her male friends are gay or really camp she doesn't realise that most guys don't enjoy or have opinions on clothes or how bad it was that whoever did whatever.

Just watched this video and I'm already feeling happier. Laughter is such a drug.
Then watch "When the face doesn't work".
It's a good combo, she's funny despite being a little annoying.

In other news,
I've never listened to 2pac really, I never cared much for his songs for some reason but I stuck him on today because I heard this song where Eminem was ragging on Ja Rule for trying to be a 2pac impersonator.

I'm quite enjoying him. I really feel like I should know his songs since he's so so famous and I do like the hippidy hops.

In other news, I think I've lost all sense of whether I'm "cool" or a "geek".
I'm such a prick when it comes to apostrophes and plurals and they're vs there etc, (not so good with commas and shit) which is a pretty geeky thing to do. It's easy to feel cool when you're around computer engineers and computer scientists all the time. I don't see anything wrong with being a geek and I'll admit in ways I am a bit of a geek, but would someone who had just met me for the first time think "Shit this pricks a bit of a geek."?
I like to think they wouldn't. I doubt they'd think I was particularly cool either. I think it takes a while for most people to warm to me, maybe that's because it takes me a while to warm to people? I'm going to stop saying "warm to", it sounds a little, eh, weird. I think I'm funny, but I also think I think I'm funnier than I am. Hope I haven't made any paradoxes there. I'm not funny in this blog, it's far too serious, but in real life I make jokes from time to time and sometimes people laugh. I like it most though when I laugh. I do enjoy laughing. As I said, laughter is such a drug.

Wish I had a nice idea for something to draw. I'm shooting a blank at the moment though. (*insert a joke from Kelly*. I bet she wishes Donal shot blanks).

Right fuck this, it's time to get some food and hop on a dart.

Peace out fuck-faces.

Tuesday, 17 January 2012

Big news. Big BIG news.

In other news, I had to make a survey for a management course in college and I got some funny responses to essay questions. I also got some awfully abusive ones too.
Someone linked this song in their ending question (which didn't actually say anything other than thanks and a creepy joke).
I had never played portal properly, or portal 2, but this song makes me want to play it.
The whole song is in a slightly robotic voice which makes the the lyrics great, my favourites being:

  • "Remember when you tried to kill me twice? Oh how we laughed and laughed. Except I wasn't laughing. Under the circumstances I've been shockingly nice".
  • "One day they woke me up, so I could live forever. It's such a shame the same will never happen to you"
  • "Goodbye my only friend, oh did you think I meant you? That would be funny if it weren't so sad"
I really don't know why I enjoy these lyrics so much but they're great.
This song is actually friggin' class.

Oh I'm getting cassette tapes for my car off my sister for my birthday. I'm very excited.

I never really was a huge fan of Immortal Technique apart from Dance with the Devil and You never know, but he has a lot of good songs actually.

I had some trouble sleeping last night, I went to bed at 11 really tired but woke up at half 1 and could get back to sleep. I was thinking about someone in particular and how I wish I could spend more time with them (they don't read this and nobody who reads this knows them) for about an hour, and then I was thinking about my kids in Kenya for another hour. I really miss those guys, I wish I had been a better teacher and mentor to them but it was all so new and difficult. I also miss living with my suas peeps, they were so much fun, I wish I hadn't been so unhealthy/tired so often over there! 

alert("Nighty Night")

Friday, 13 January 2012

I bet you think this post is about you, don't you.....

Well it is. This one is about you Dave.
As Dave was leaving my house my blog came into the conversation somehow. Dave said how I'm brutally honest in it, which is very true. I talk more about emotions and all that bent crap here than I do in actual life. It must be a bit hard for the lads when they read this. They only know me as James, the suave, hard as nails and cool as tamagotchis lady's man. To read about a softer side must be shocking as hell.
Anyways enough about boring old me and back to David. I'm going to be very honest about David. David is the kind of guy who expects very little from people. He's a little cynical, quite pessimistic, very polite (yet not always quite PC) and he's as nice as buttons (we be talking the white ones here).
If in 50 years time David tells me his children amounted to McDonalds cashiers, I wouldn't be one bit surprised. Dave doesn't ask anything of people, he would hate to inconvenience anybody. He is in general, simply put, too nice for his own good. Granted he can act the dick (such as telling girls they look malnourished and to eat a sandwich) from when drunk from time to time, but we all can. He's pretty awful at being mean while sober.
Where I'm going with this is, I'd love if Dave kept a blog. I use mine basically as a diary, I just write little bits of what's on my mind but I don't want to say to anybody. I honestly think I get more enjoyment out of writing my blog than I get from reading anybody else's. I definitely don't think any of you enjoy it as much as me. I don't write it for anybody else, but I like the idea that anybody can read it all the same. It gives you the feeling of being listened to. I think it'd do anybody good to keep a blog. Or a diary, blogs better though for the feeling heard bit. With religion going out the window for most people, nobody really takes time to think about things and how they feel about crap. I definitely don't make enough time to think about myself.

It's funny, this title is so not true. I highly doubt Dave expected me to write a post about him.
I hope he doesn't mind. Considering only Shane and myself from our group are going to read this I doubt he'll care. He's quite good at taking abuse. I just hope if he ever does make a blog, he won't tell the LAAADS about it. He knows who I'm talking about.

In other news, DISASTER day yesterday.

It's presently 4am, I heard my dad (judging by the loud walking) going to the bathroom there a second ago and I know he could hear me typing on his way there (or probably during his stay there, walls are like paper y'all, it's sick). While he was there my laptop battery died and I was trying to restart my computer. It would have looked SO bad if he had walked in and I'm sitting here in bed with a blank laptop screen.

I've 6k words to write for Monday. Hoping 2k Today, 4k Sunday. Reasonable I think, or else I'm underestimating the scale of this project.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Fall into ....

I normally keep these pictures so simple but I stuck some colour and a background into this one, not sure why and I kinda regret it, but what is done is done.

Some day when I have the confidence and swagger, I'll sketch this real quickly, show it to a girl and say the speech bubble. On 3 I'd go for zee kill. When I say some day I of course mean never since they would presumably not know what I mean by the picture / think I'm taking creep to another level.

Nobody friggin' blogs with any frequency these days. This is my 70th post. Hurray for me.
It's my birthday in 2 weeks. I think I'll do nothing for it. People keep going on about applying for jobs, euch...

I got Donal So bad today.
I posted on the Engineering facebook page that there were very few people in college today, college doesn't actually start back until next Monday. Donal thought it was a joke so he asked me was I joking, or was college seriously on. So I said something along the lines of, yeah of course it was on you gobsheen. Then he asked Gav who told him it was on too. Not sure if Gav had seen my post or was just lying to Donal for the fun, either way it worked because Donal was convinced college started back today. So since he believed that I decided to bring up the 6000 word assignment we had due for first day back. Here's the facebook conversation.

Turned out the poor prick had mis-read the project spec (which was written slightly ambiguously) and had written 3000 words on the wrong topic. I rang him up to tell him the truth after that and he told me he had just got an extension from the lecturer anyways since he had done so much work on the wrong topic.
It would only happen to Donal.... He's the same guy who got sick in his car that night in the surf trip.

Ya wouldn't wanna see the size of these mouth ulcers baby. They're sick.

I prefer this to the original.

This song's ace too. I don't think I ever linked it before.

Friday, 6 January 2012

Saying nothing is sometimes saying more than saying something.

I bet ya thought I wasn't going to write anything eh? Well I am. I watched "captain america : something or other" today. It was the worst movie I've seen in some time, the main character was one of those characters nerds are supposed to imagine are themselves which I talked about before. It was probably even worse than bridesmaids. I watched Hannibal the night before, it's so sick with the whole brain stuff at the end. So disgusting, I felt very uncomfortable trying to sleep after watching that since it was running through my mind. Also uncomfortable since I've been feeling a bit sickies lately.
The ski trip left today. It is the first (and last) xmas college ski trip which I'm going to miss. I'm not too bothered since I don't know many on it and it is nice to have time to do college work but boy ohhhh boy those are some fun trips.
Print "Goodnight World";

Tuesday, 3 January 2012

There's no point in going to sleep since I'm not going to get up til 3 or 4pm regardless. I've got my 8 hours and then some.

I usually make a title before I write but I honestly can't pin down what I want to talk about so I'll just spit out everything on my mind.

1)  My hands are fucking cold, it's hard to type because my fingers are stiff and sore.

2)  Creepin of the Facebook variety. My lil cousin was getting fraped the other day, when I say little I mean she's about 13? So her best friend was fraping her and she started talking to me. I picked it up straight away because I'm clever, no wait, that's not why. I picked it up straight away because she said "I was at Ffz earlier got da shift off sum really hot lad nd cnt stop thinken of him ". This is a cousin I don't know too well, but what I do know is quite quiet and she'd never say something like that to me. So after a few more lines the conversation ends. The next day boom, James has a friend request. Who is it none other than a 13 year old who is mutual friends with my cousin. Her profile pictures are her lying in a bed with my cousin and some other little chick and they're all over each other. Very eh, what's the word.... You'd find it provocative if you were a paedo, is there a word for that? It'd be very that word if such a word exists. Oh I also got a message the next day from my cousin saying her friend thinks I'm cool for realising it was a frape so quickly. Talk about IN THERE.

3)  Creeping of the Blog variety. I love reading randomers blogs. I found some kid from america's blog through some picture she had uploaded or something, so I went to her blog from google images. Can't remember what picture it was but I took this from her page.

Anyways, this kid had a very average blog. You can find it here if you so wish- http://estherstar1996.wordpress.com/. I bookmarked it and really enjoyed it even though from her blog she seems like a very average girl. It is written in an entertaining and easy to read way though. That aside, the first entry on her page (at the time of me writing this) is this song:
I'm not gonna lie, I had a lil teery moment, I'm not going to say I cried because of this song, but my eyes had more water than usual in them so make of it what you will. The song really got me thinking of how I wish we celebrated Aileen's life more. When she died I didn't want to talk to her friends or anything like that, but now I'd really like to talk to them, find out stories about her that I'd never have known or couldn't have been told when I was younger.
I remember one time watching a movie with her and Dan (her boyfriend up to about a month or 2 before she died), and there was a scene of some illegal drug production hideout where they were making shit loads of pills and Dan goes: "I'd like to be there!". At the time I was a particularly uncool (or moreso unwise to the ways of the world, sheltered if you will) 14 year old, I didn't know what to make of that, I thought maybe he does them from time to time, or it was a joke. Either way Aileen definitely doesn't do them because that's really bold.
After she died I watched the tape of the last recorded stuff on her video camera. There was some stuff from her J1 in New York, and there was some part where some of the lads were talking about rolling a big joint or something. Again I didn't know what to think of it, I kind of figured from whatever way it sounded that she must smoke weed sometimes. I read an email conversation between her friends from that summer and they were saying how Aileen was basically partying like a lunatic the whole time, so she must have made some stories and been up to some shenanigans.
It'd be great to hear them, but would her friends even remember that many stories? I wish I could have been ready to hear them 6 or 7 years ago when Maeve used to see them from time to time.

Hopping back to the song, they paint this image of a beautiful funeral, a beautifully dressed girl being pushed out in a boat. It's a nice image, it's how I guess most people would want their funeral to be, but in the case of people who die young it's usually due to accidents. Be it a car crash or falling from a height, either way it means impact. The body is not going to look beautiful. Aileen barely looked like herself in her coffin. She was still bloated from all the meds they had been pumping through her, she looked like a down-syndrome version of herself. I think that made it easier to see her in a coffin, because it didn't look like her. I'm not saying that's a good thing, it could be good for you to really take hold of the fact that this is the person you've lived with your whole life who is going into the ground, but for the funeral I did my best to pretend she hadn't died whenever I got too sad, which was probably easier than it should have been due to the inflammation
I read another blog today which I didn't bookmark actually because she only had 5 or 6 posts, the latest being a year ago. It was by this very Christian North American woman. She didn't seem the brightest, but she seemed very nice. Her son (he looked about 13) was hit by a car and killed. She had 6 or 7 kids, some of them had seen their brother get hit by the car and they were saying how they have flashbacks of it. I guess I'm grateful I didn't have to see Aileen fall. I would imagine one would have dreams about that where you are too slow to help them, it would give you such a feeling of helplessness.
Here's another song from the first kids blog, she's a big fan of hugely viewed songs which I've never heard.

4)  My Sleeping schedule is completely frigged. I got up at 4pm today, and it's now 5.20am and I'm not particularly tired. I played squash for the first time in a while and I lost 3-0 to a man I used to beat. I'm so unfit and weak. I can notice my legs being far too weak for my body to move in the way I know I need to. I move too slowly due to my weak ass legs, and I'm not stable enough on my legs to hit the friggin' ball properly.


6)  Moo got me this album for christmas, pretty solid present. 

P.S I bet you've searched for those facebook pictures of my cousin by now Dave, you creep! Weh weh weh.

Sunday, 1 January 2012

Cleaning is the opposite.

So I've been cleaning my room out a bit and now my eyes are sore presumably from the dust on half of this crap which has been left hiding under wardrobes etc for the last 5 or 6 years.

It's really nice to look at old school crap. I found a copy from when I was in 4th year.

Pretty cool little addition I had added to it, if I may say so myself. I was mad for drawing those squiggly dragon things back then. My gaeltacht copy was littered with them. When I went to take this picture my webcam said it was already streaming or something, which is pretty fucking weird. I've always wondered (not while high) if someone would make a virus to stream your webcam and then monitor what you do and have a picture/video of you to relate peoples interests to age/ethnic group. Never thought anybody would bother, especially since I'd imagine it would need one huge ass storage space, but maybe they do. Or maybe they just take pictures on certain events, or even just one picture, that'd be a lot less memory. Anyway I'm going totally off-topic and it's more than likely just something innocent.

So, back to the point, inside this copy was 0 science notes, and instead funny ideas that I had for a video which I never bothered making. Reading it now I think it would make for a funny video, the idea of the video is I'm a huge loser that nobody likes but I don't realise it.

I started writing them out, but I actually just couldn't be assed; it's quite long.
I also came across a story I had written for English class in 4th year, at first I thought it was really bent but then when I got to the end I realised it was not quite as bent as I had thought. It was like 4 and a bit A4 pages long though which is insane, what a swat. I must have kept it because it was the longest essay I'd ever written.

It's funny how when you tidy things it actually makes it messier until you're finished. It'd be nice if it just constantly made it tidier so you could see how you were doing as you went along.

This girl is really good. I quite like her.

I've really said a lot of nothing here.