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Monday, 21 March 2011

Jewellery!!!

 Soooo I saw this and I thought, Perfect, It would look so great with my cream gloves and black lace dress.

Now it only cost 100euro in the jeweller just off Grafton Street that Mummy always goes to when she's looking for that something Extra special for her outfits. They're SO gorge. Anyways, I found this necklace to go with them.

I'd look like a Sexy Neo-Victorian Housewife. Ohhh my god I would love it. Problem is though, Mummy only let me buy one of them. This Indian style necklace cost only 60 euro but I guess I'll have to wait until my birthday to get it too. I'll look sooo fabulous for Cassandra's wedding! I just hope I don't show her up!

Sooooooo,
10er bets no lads are still reading by this stage.
I've once again outsmarted the female race (the first time when I pretended I wasn't a knob and I tricked a girl into giving me her phone number, I then sent her 500 text messages saying "I'm TOO GOOD FOR YOU!" over a period of 3 weeks).

Anyways, this time my victory is that I have uncovered a widespread female circuit [edit: I meant to say secret here, not circuit. Engineering can do funny things to your mind]. For generations men have always thought such things as "Why do girls get such a kick from fashion?", "What could possibly be interesting about colours that "match"?" and "Srsly they must be fucking with me that's the most boring thing I've ever heard and they've been talking about it for hours.". Over and over again many great minds have pondered such thoughts, until now, ponder no more good friends. FINALLY, I have the answer.

Girls talk shit so boys stop listening. Then they're free to say whatever the fuck they want without having to worry about boys finding out what they've been saying. It's the oldest encryption in the book. It's the only possible excuse for all the shitty fashion magazines and (sorryyyy kellyyy) shitty fashion blogs out there.

It's a well known fact at this stage that girly magazines can be a gold-mine for pictures of mild nudity and articles of a sexual nature, but it shocks me how men everywhere have not realised that theres juicy bits to every piece of the once-thought bullshit article girls read. Camp guys aren't camp, theyre just ONE STEP AHEAD of the rest. They talk the speel of "Ohhh my gawd, emma, that necklace sooooo brings out your eyes" knowing that in 5 minutes time the boyfriends will have left the room and he's free to talk naughty with the girls.

Someday I hope to have the stamina to read to the actual bit of a fashion article but I need more training. I just can't hack it yet. I'm sure that theres something else in there other than the price of this bracelet and whats going to be beachwear this summer. In the future I'll report back on what I find, if I ever succeed that is...

Grass is green

1 comment:

  1. ITS NOT A FASHION BLOG YOU ABSOLUTE IDIOT. Jesus, learn the difference between cosmetics and fashion. I'm literally the least fashionable person in our class, and that's saying something...

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