Popular Posts

Tuesday, 1 March 2011

The Dentist

Fucking hate going to the dentist. It's shit. My little sister was complaining about her teeth so mum, maura and I were booked in for this morning for an ol' checkup. The dentist is going away so we had to take the shitty slot that is 8.15 am, requiring me to arise at 7.15 like a chump.

Once there I had to do the usual sitting around in the lounge reading National Geographic magazines or whatever they're called. Those Shaolin Monks are fucking badass vegetarians. They're my idols, only I don't actually want to be like them since it'd be really boring. Anyways when I eventually get the joy of going in to see the dentist I have the usual craic. A short story from him to put me at ease I guess. And then it's to lying down on the yoke, mouth open like a goon and him having a gander inside that big hole in my face. Of course he's not very happy with my teeth and needs to do a few fillings but isn't sure if he has time so he decides he'll probably do 2 fillings after he does a checkup on my mum. My little sister required nothing by the way... Typical.
So anyways once mum comes out (and is told she's got loads of fun in store for her in 2 weeks time) and I'm back in for the lols. Oh lucky me, his next appointment rang to cancel since she's sick, he's going to have time to well and truely rape my mouth (half an hour). Soooo first off is to numb my mouth. Jabs the needle into my mouth in several places and gives it a little squeeze, after reading that shit about the Shaolin Monks and their kong fu I can't help but feel even more like a bitch that this is hurting me. Now time to rinse my mouth and I see a very cheeky technique going on here. They give you pink water to rinse your mouth with so you don't realize your mouth is bleeding. I had a wee spit first and noticed it was red though.
Back to lying down and then it was the solid 25 minutes more of him digging at my teeth, sawing away and sucking my saliva out with that yoke and just general uncomfortableness. At once stage he showed me on his screen thing what my worst of the cavitys looked like. It was pretty horrible seeing it since it's something you never really realise you have, I always think my teeth aren't the worst of teeth like, they're an alright shape and not too far from white, but seeing the cavity really made me realise I do take pretty dick care of my teeth.
After 30 minutes of someone messing around with your mouth your lips get very very dry. They really felt like they were burning. At one stage he asked me did I cut the inside of my mouth, to which I replied I hadn't so he asked me do I get mouth ulcers (except he used some more technical name which I can't pronounce, let alone spell) to which I replied I'm a bit prone to them alright. So apparently my monster ulcers which I get have scarred my mouth, LULZ. Lucky thing nobody can see it. He then said "You do know they're stress related right?", to which I wasn't sure how to reply so I said yeah and I don't get them very much anymore which seemed to satisfy him.

It turns out he had done 500 euro worth of work on me. Dentists really are making the cash. Very glad I still live with my parents and they pay for my dental bills or else I'd be fucked.

Getting my haircut today. I'll stick up pics don't worry.

No comments:

Post a Comment