I was lying on the grass earlier just enjoying the sun and being all chill, when I noticed my dad, who had been doing some gardening, was walking towards me so I opened my eyes and squinted generally towards him (the sun was behind him). Before my eyes adjusted I noticed he dropped something moist onto my feet and then I saw he was smiling. I presumed at first it was just some dirt or mud or something he dropped on me, but as I leaned forwards and moved my legs away from it I noticed with my still blurry eyes that it was a brown blob. The first thing that ran through my head was "No James.... He wouldn't have dropped a dog shit on your feet for fun........ Would he? No.... Surely not.... Right?", then I noticed it wasn't just brown, it was green and brown. For the slightest of split-seconds I thought it could possibly be the moistest, old, mouldy, disgusting dog shit in the world, then a split second later my eyes adjusted and it was just a wee frog.
He looked a little bit like this lad.
But I wish he had looked like this lad.
HOW FRIGGIN' FUNNY DOES HE LOOK?!
I bet he's wise as shit.
Yet I digress, I hadn't seen a frog in ages, so seeing this kid at my feet reminded me of the last time I saw a frog. I was in the front garden doing something irrelevant with dad a few years ago, around this time of year too actually, and he saw a frog near us. Jokingly I mentioned "Will I squash it yeah?", but little did I know this frog was a serious emo-kid. I had raised my foot when I said will I squash it, and as I put my foot down the frog jumped right under where I was going to put my foot down. Luckily he was spared death at that instant by me going completely off-balance to put my foot down elsewhere. So now I'm off balance but the frog's actin' all coo, and I move my other foot to re-balance, and as I do this he sneakily jumps out of my view and under where I was going to put my other foot down. Not so lucky this time froggy. He was squished and I felt real bent. I was worried my dad would think I was a psycho and killed it on purpose but he didn't so I was okay.
I had a similar time when I was golfing with my uncle and cousin down in Galway about 5 or so years ago. My cousin and I weren't much good. So we were on one of the last holes and my uncle noticed there were pheasants up to the right of the green. He's a really nice and gentle sort of man, and after remarking how nice the pheasants looked he jokingly said kill us some dinner there James, as it was my turn to smack the little white ball with the metal stick. So I stood up and all in a good laugh agreed to, but it was all very obvious that it was the last thing any of us wanted me to do. So I stood up and gave the ol' ball a lil thump-a-roo and being shit at golf had little control over where it would go. Naturally it went directly for the pheasants.
Thankfully it missed and the birds flew away, but I still felt really bent and I'm pretty sure my uncle thought I did it on purpose.
I was going to end this here but I just thought of something I'll probably never mention otherwise.
When I was about 12 on the sailing courses, jelly-fish would wash up on the slip sometimes. They'd be there drying out or whatever, fucked or dead really. Sometimes they'd come in their hundreds, there'd be huge amounts of them, but just the purple/clear fuckers that can't hurt you. I believe people called them Moon Jellyfish, and I just googled it and yes that's them. Soooo, I remember on occasion there'd be jellyfish fights, we'd pick these things up and just fuck them at each other. They were just like awesome water-bombs. They were jelly-ish, didn't sting, and were moist and gross to get hit with. I also remember us all getting in trouble because some people were throwing them into the girls changing room at whichever girls were hiding in there. Looking back it was a pretty bent thing to do since there'd be bits of jellyfish all over the gaff for the regular people who wanted to use the changing rooms. I'm not sure how I feel for whichever few jellyfish were still alive. They're really just glorified plants aren't they? I find it hard to sympathise with them.
I also remember playing this game with one of the lads where we'd lob the jellyfish at one of the pontoons and try get it to stop on it. It was really difficult because the jellys would just break and slip off.
When you're sailing sometimes you go through these huge schools or forests really of jellyfish, since they don't really have much control over where they go they all just end up together thanks to the currents. One time when I was with the cousin mentioned earlier we were going from Wexford to Dublin and were going through one of these forests. Nearly all the jellyfish had these little parasites in them. It was gross.
I didn't know the states still made good hip-hop, this is a great name for a group.
This one is all raggae-like
This song is also really chill.
I WISH I COULD WRITE THIS MUCH ON MY THESIS