I want to do it - in my pants.

My neighbour had to go into town the other day so her kid was in our house. He's 5 but he's mentally 4 really, he was adopted so he was a little neglected I guess for his first year and a half of life. His parents both work and  2 grandparents live with them so the parents have to look after them too. They have a minder, but basically what I'm getting at is.. well you'll see actually.

So anyway, I was playing some Supersonic, Acrobatic, Rocket-Powered, Battle-Cars when my mum brought him in, naturally he wanted to play since a game that awesome appeals to everybody. So I set him there playing against nobody and he got the idea that pressing whatever button made the car move. While he drove around aimlessly, stopping for extended intervals at random.
I decided to play the piano. This kid usually hates any sort of loud noise; apparently I was the same about loud noises (but not what follows) when I was little. He must have been really absorbed in the game though because he didn't ask me to stop except when the round would end, then he'd say "James, STOP! Stop playing the piana James! The game is broken.". So I'd "fix" the game by selecting next round and go back to playing the piano.

I was going to try remember how to play "Hello" by Evanescence, but I have lost the sheets for it and I'm no good at learning things by ear, so I quickly just started making something up instead. I had planned on putting in LOADS of key changes and recording it with the title "As moody as I am" on my laptop. By planned I of course mean: planned in the event of both my legs becoming broken and the piano is my only form of enjoyment.

So anyways, back to the past, the kid started shaking while playing the game and I wasn't really sure what was wrong. He looked a bit strained in the face so I asked him if he wanted to go to the toilet. He sorta gasped and said no, and shook a little more then stopped. So I let him be for a while. He started shaking again so I asked him was he alright, he was quite glued to the game, standing about a foot from the screen at this stage, and he said yes. So I asked him again did he need to go to the toilet and he replies "I want to do it in my pants.".
I went in and told my mum, she found it pretty amusing I think, but she made him venture to the toilet where it transpired he had already let loose.

So back to the piano, I promised at some stage I'd stick the songs on this when I'd learned them. So that lead to me trying to play them to my laptop earlier and fucking up so often it was ludicrous. I was a bit nervous for some reason. I've played to people in my piano teachers lil concert things before and I don't fuck up nearly this badly then. I think it's because I fear Sarah giving out to me about it being emotionless or something.
I gave up trying to play the piece I had intended, so I just recorded the gist of that aforementioned (WOW I JUST USED THAT WORD! THAT JUST HAPPENED! FUCKIN' HELL I'M GETTING BETTER AT ENGLISH) piece since nobody can say it's wrong because I made it up on the spot and it's mine.

It's actually really annoyingly repetitive but I wasn't bothered enough

to make a better version.

I went for a walk on the beach tonight. I really like walking on the beach when there's nobody else there, and it's even better when it's dark. The water looks so much more beautiful, the city lights are pretty, and the stars make you really put things in perspective. Airplane lights look cool as they fly through clouds at night too, also since everything lacks a lot of colour because of the whole rods/cones things the sand looks awesome, especially when it spreads out wide.
I was thinking a lot about how my way of thinking has changed hugely from when I was a kid. When I was young I'd think about things for myself and that was it really. Now whenever I think about things it's about arranging my thoughts so I can explain them to other people. I'm ALWAYS having imaginary conversations in my head and I don't enjoy it at all. I've come to the conclusion that those sorta conversations don't help at all if the hypothetical situation becomes a reality. If the conversation deviates at all, or your argument about something is from a different angle, you end up bringing up points that make no sense or saying stupid shit and not knowing what's relevant.
In short, I'd rather spend my time thinking about who the villain was in that last scooby doo than how I'd argue my way out of getting stung dealing meth to a politician who was funding corrupt police.

Actually, on that note, Scooby Doo was class. Kids today are really missing out with their Dora the fucking explorer. I've only watched little clips of that, but it's a show designed for ADD kids as far as I can tell. It's ridiculous and it's annoying. I'm showing my kids re-runs of shows I watched growing up to protect them from turning into the glorified carrot that Dora-kids will inevitably turn into.