Fooootballll, foootballll, I lovveee foootballll.

^in the voice of Jamooney.
Tomorrow is the big match between the suas volunteers and the teachers in this primary school. Should be great old fun. Apparently the kids lap it up and just go ape-shit when goals are scored. We have a bunch of stuff planned that the kids and teachers have no idea about, we're going to teach the kids some chants before the game and since it's just boys playing football the suas girls are going to get the crowd going and have those empty huge water dispenser bottles to use as drums. There's loads of facepaint too and if people have free classes they're going to get the kids to make flags. I'll hopefully get some nice pics for my DOCS, i.e you goys ;). The teachers are probably going to hockey us since they're actually very good but we're all thinking that so long as we win the hearts of the crowd we'll be happy out.

Got my summer zam results. Failed one subject but somehow miraculously got 37% in it. Everybody must have done shit or something so he marked easy, I barely answered 50% of the paper and nearly all of that was answered incredibly poorly. Anyways It doesn't matter as I can compensate 37% and got a 2.1 overall. Scraped it but still a 2.1! Delllirrah.

Last week in school they had midterm exams so I was being the big invigilator prick. Anyways it meant all of us were correcting loads of exams. In maths I came across this gem of an answer from one of my kids.
[Okay I can't upload pictures for some reason on this dongle]
I was tempted to give the marks for it but figured the actual maths teacher might not like me giving out marks to people just because they made me laugh, especially when it was something like this where it was probably an honest attempt at answering the question.

Started writing this yesterday and didn't have the dongle so I'm posting this now.

The match was fucking class. We went 2-0 up in the start of the first half but at full time it was 2-2, after extra time it was penalties and unfortunately we lost that. We had a few misses but I kicked the game losing miss, hit the post! There was no option really I had to go left because the kids were too close on the right and I didn't want to hit one. Not that they'd care, they're hard as nails, it just would have meant it was a miss. Lulz.

I should mention that the goals are tiny so it's not really much room for aiming.

When we scored our goals during the game the kids went ape-shit as expected. hundreds of them swarmed the pitch, it was such a laugh. They'd all want high fives and to shake hands or touch anyone on our team, and the school choir (the cool kids in the school) did a real good job of organising the kids and beating the drums. We had 2 of the kids on our team since we only had 6 players and the teachers had like 10 and it was going to be 8 a side. The goalie was about a 10 year old from grade 4 (it goes from 1-8) and the other was the school football team captain. The 2 of them brought the team's average ability shooting up, they were deadly. I'll try get a picture of the lads with one of them and slot it up here sometime. Maybe later than sooner since I can't upload stuff.

(firefox let me upload the pic)

Anyways, better peace on out since I stink and need to shower and shtuff.

Transfixed and confused like a pregnant mosquito.

This title is a sentence one of the kids in one of the higher classes used in one of his essays.
So Kenya is going good. Some have kind of bad English but it's their 3rd language so I can't hold it against them. I barely had 1 language when I was 9, these kids are on their 3rd. They're tough as fucking nails. They're constantly smacking each other and climbing on shit and playing with sticks that have nails on them. They all use just the blade from pencil sharpeners as their pencil sharpener. They never complain when they fall on rocks or hit their head on the ground. One of the teachers today was telling me that's because a lot of them get quite badly beaten by their parents. He was saying some hit the kids until they bleed. Pretty rough for the little guys.
They're all cool. And they love us mzungus (whities).

It's actually quite cold here in the mornings and nights but it's so hot in the midday.
I'll throw up a few pics when I bother to put them onto my computer. Getting up at 6:45 every morning is tiring.
Watching a mooovie now, peace out loserss.

OH SHIT I'M LATE WRITING MY DOCS SOZZ.

I'm never going to say when my next post will be again. It's too much responsibility for me apparently. Cheers for saz rose pointing out to me how I'd stopped calling my blog a docs by the end of the post I was writing. I'm real clever.

Anyways, I took a few photos which weren't very exciting, but here are 2 of them.

This is Moo as we're leaving the harbour on our 11 hour journey to the Isle of Man, very cheery considering the hour and the state of our heads.

And this is about an hour and a bit in as we passed by Lambay Island, there were birds and shit so I took a picture in case we didn't get to see any porpoises or anything, which we didn't so just as well I took this exciting picture.

My camera is quite poor quality. My dad has a noice one but for some reason the pictures on that didn't save or got deleted so whateva.

Anyhu,
Despite seeing no interesting animals it was great fun. The weather was bleedin' class on friday so I got burnt naturally. Was srsly hanging so fell asleep mainly covered up but still in the sun, just for an hour or so but it was more than enough.... It's funny how much you sleep on boat trips. There is fuck all else to do when there is no wind and you're just motoring. Sleep, listen to music and read. Went out Thursday night (i.e the night before this sailing trip) and it was great fun. Got plashtered as I intended as I won't be able to again until after Kenya. I got to say goodbye to some college peeps too who were around town which was kewl, they know who they are (HI!).
We went to Peel on the Isle of Man, I'm not going to lie, it's a bit of a shithole. We had to stay on the moorings since the marina was full so Moo (the sista) and I rowed ashore and got some take away in the one pizzeria/chipper/icecream-parlour that the town had. It had a cool castle that we didn't bother taking a picture of actually since we never went over to it as we were mad hungry and left for glendalough early in the morning.
The one thing worth noting about our stay in Peel was the sleep. It was fucking ridiculous. I felt like shit from all the shitty food we had eaten on a hungover belly and the wind had come up a bit. Whatever way the wind was coming from the harbour offered us no protection. We were rocking like a mother-fuckah so we had to be careful not to fall out of our "beds" (in "" since they're not actual beds, they're more like seats you can lie across). The dishes in the sink were thrashing about the place making an INSANE amount of noise. Every piece of wood in the boat was creeking and it just seemed like everything was making noise. Dad was up the front, which was even worse really since the way the waves were going he would have been getting thrown around even more. It was just Moo and I in the main cabin. She went to be at about 10, me about 12, but at about half 1 we were both still awake and were breaking our shits laughing. It was hilarious how noisy and unsuited to sleep everything was. Eventually I got up to try find somewhere to put the dishes so they would shut the smeg up, but dad got up then too to check if there was anywhere better we could move the boat. He did the dishes and we decided to stay there. Fell asleep after a while when the wind died down... The next morning we were glad to see the back of Peel.
Glendalough was fine, we stayed in a marina. Dinner was weird, some drunk guy kept talking to us at our table. Apparently the woman who owned the restaurant had fired him a few years back, she was our waitress and was quite over-friendly. I like to get served and not have to make small talk with old waitresses. Dad loves small talk though unfortunately, as did both our waitresses.

This was in my head actually for a while lately.

"For billions of years since the outset of time, every single one of your ancestors survived. Every single person on your mum and dad's side successfully looked after and passed onto you life."
I know it's obvious but it's cool to actually give it the time to think about.

My cousin got engaged to her long term boyfriend. Pretty cool, can't wait for the wedding. Weddings are great fun. It's weird that she's going to have a different second name now. Some of my other cousins have got married but I actually know this cousin well so it will be weird this time.

Scored my little sister's best mate last Thursday. Moo was more annoyed than I thought she'd be. Lucky thing I had those 2 days on the boat to make semi-awkward jokes about it. For whatever reason it got back to the parents.. I never tell my parents about my nights out and whatnot (for good reason) so I honestly think my mum had been worried I was gay. Last week she goes to me, "So, any girls on the scene James?", me "Nope", Her "oh... Not gay no?" Me, "Oh god..... hahhh (is she serious? The fuck?! awkward face)". I don't think she's too worried anymore at least.

Better get some sleep... Long day travelling ahead of my tomorrow.... Blegh, need to finish packing... Packing is really lame.

I always forget what videos I've linked, this is irrelevant but ageless.

Apologies for my absence my loyal followers.

The above is bullshit. I clearly have no loyal followers as I can see my page stats. Views really plummet when I take a break sheesh. The ratings are down kids. James has work to do. In truth with exams ending and all that it's no longer as tempting to blog but I'll try to keep it up.

I did attempt to do a few blogs but none got past the second paragraph and it wouldn't really make sense to finish them now. Blog is such a shit word. I wish I had something witty to name it instead, like Diary Of Copasetic Stories. Yeah, that will do. I no longer write in my blog. I write in my DOCS, or Docs so it doesn't look ridiculous.

Got denied a credit card for going away to Kenya which is inconvenient as I now get charged to take out money, but convenient as I don't have to worry about losing my credit card and having to cancel it blah blah. It's not surprising really since I have no job, and my bank balance has been somewhere around the 13 euro mark for the last 9 months or so.

Oh check it out Padz, I got my hair cut again and I can now finally fit that tiny baby sized hat you got me on my head.

You may not be able to tell but it's a Tommy Hilfiger hat. And it randomly pops off my head like it's on springs, it's that small.

I'm heading off to Kenya on Tuesday, I will have the interwebs there, so I'll try write a few blogs to keep you guys up to date on my life, but they'll probably be a tad more serious (if that is even possible) since I'll just be teaching kids the whole time.

Going sailing for the weekend, I'll try take some pics as I know the moron gets wet for pics of anything really.

I don't really want to unload a bunch of random stories of little value here since it's not supposed to be a record of my life so I think I'll leave it at that for today and try blog again on Monday before I go away. That's a treat for you guys to apologize for my lack of blogging lately (Getting to know when the next blog will probably be, just in case that wasn't clear).

This video is so trippy.
Confusing and awesome.

p.s. Just read over this and had to edit a bunch of typos and spelling/grammar mistakes. I've really let myself go.