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Thursday, 5 September 2013


I don't know if I've ever mentioned but I'm pretty beast at foosball.
Here's some tips for people who aren't very good at foosball so they can appear to be as good as me, or maybe even become as good as me if they practice them all a lot.
The ones marked Pro-tip are the especially important ones.

  1. When people ask if you're any good, reply with something along the lines of, "Oh I dabble.", or "Well I wouldn't say I'm very good, but other people do.". This is important because now people will think you're good, but may think you're joking so you have an out if you lose.
  2. If playing 2 on 2, when your defense has the ball, the attacker should keep his players up so the defender can shoot.
  3. Defenders don't shoot from in front of your goal, it's asking for the attacker to hit it straight back into your goal.
  4. Pro-tip: Always keep your players with their feet down, otherwise they won't block anything.
  5. Always put your goalie slightly to the side of your defenders, this way you cover a little wall.
  6. Pro-tip: If the table has a roll, pick the side where the ball rolls towards your goal. This way the ball rolls towards your players so you can control it easier in front of your players. (In front of your players is the side you shoot from so you can shoot anytime when the ball is there).
  7. Pro-tip: Be as slow as you can to take your shot, it's not easy as the ball will roll away usually or you'll knock it away. Not only does it annoy your opponent, but it also gives you time to see any gaps to shoot for. 
  8. Don't spin. Not only has it way less control, but it leaves your players randomly positioned so your opponent may get a free shot on you because you're breaking rule 4. With that said, spinning adds huge amounts of randomness into the game, so if you're playing someone way better than you, spin away. If they complain say, well you can spin too if you like. Then sing Kylie Minogue's spinning around if they're especially being a dick.
  9. Pro-tip: Always watch the ball, even if your hot chocolate or tea is done and you want to go get it.
  10. If playing 1 on 1, always keep your left hand on the keeper. Maybe I'm just really good, but it's insane how well your reflexes work; you'll make miracle saves way more often than you'd expect. Also there's nothing more frustrating than a slow ball rolling towards your goal and having to switch bar and accidentally knocking it into your own goal. Well, there are some more frustrating things, like leaving your hot chocolate on for too long and the milk gets kinda burnt.
  11. Pro-tip: This is the last and probably the most important tip if you want to win. If you're playing 2 on 2, always pick me as your partner. I'm the best and if you have a choice, you should pick me.
In other news I gave my 1 months notice in to work, so I'll be finishing up there at the end of this month and hopefully spending the winter in the alps! 
Exciting stuff! Gotta get applying to jobs.

You should watch adventure time. I'm pretty hooked.

I've been shit at DOC'ing lately because I have a girlfriend now and that takes up pretty much all of my blog time. 

I'm not sorry. 

I'm happy.
If life can stay this good, I'd be very appreciative.

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