So this weird thing happened 2 weeks back or so.
I had this dream which I've forgotten half the details of, but there was this beautiful girl in it with blue hair.
And then when I got the tube that morning, this girl got on on the victoria line, and she was absolutely stunning. She had one of those bull-nose ring things which I normally wouldn't care too much for, but it looked very attractive. Importantly, she had blue hair. Mostly blue, but purple too, and blonde. In a movie it would have been a sign that I should talk to her and say some really charming shit that people in real life are for the most part incapable of doing. Sadly this was real life, and this was the tube in London at rush hour; looking at someone else is basically a no-no, hitting on someone (again, not something I'm capable of doing to any degree) would pretty much be reason enough to get you sectioned.
I kind of forgot about her until a few days later when I saw her on the tube again, and I thought maybe my dream had made me exaggerate her good looks but nope, she's a crazily beautiful punk. Remember in Freaks and Geeks when Daniel tells that punk girl he's a punker too? I'm going to do that. I'm going to dye my hair blue, and get leather trousers, and get a clothes pin nose piercing.
I also had another dream where one of my friends (think it was you Christine), was telling me how she had figured out the meaning of life. That it was actually really simple, and in the dream it made perfect sense and was very calming to know. It was something along the lines of we're all just energy. We're made of energy, and when we die our energy goes to other things. Which isn't a very comforting thing to hear awake because we basically already know that this happens but we like to think that we have a soul or something more than what's physically there, that we'll exist after we die, but for some reason in the dream it was comforting to know we won't.
I think a lot about "What if I'm already dead", which is a complete waste of time because there's no way of disproving it, and I think it's quite an unhealthy thing to think about. I've come to the conclusion: "so what if I am?". In fact, lots of these existential questions really don't matter. It's easy to come up with some crazy theory about our existence (see most religions).
I'm not going to post that stupid existential phone note I made. It's too wanky and embarassing, even for this blog.
In other news, my cousin is going to be moving to London instead of New York, which is quite cool. It will be fun having her around if I'm not moving home. I'm thinking I might just try move home for December. I'll be away for 3 weeks anyway so it'd be great not to have to pay rent for a month. Work might let me work from Ireland for a week or two, which would be really helpful for seeing if I do actually want to move home or not. Or at least if I want to leave London or not.
Violin is going well, my teacher seemed quite impressed after lesson #6 there on Friday. She's given me a piece outside the book to learn which she says is around grade 2 standard. Slightly above I think she said actually. Which is cool to know how roughly to rate myself, hopefully I'll have it down pretty well for my next lesson in 2 weeks. Funnily enough it's a Brahms piece which I did for my grade 7 on piano so I know the tune which helps.
I won't go into how depressingly void my love life is. If you just imagine somewhere out in space way out past Pluto. A lost comet in intergalactic space, hoping to find a solar system but no idea how to. Gravity doesn't exist for me.
Life is flying by.
I sort of feel like a tumbleweed.