I Still Exist

Well well well. 

I'm going to keep the recap brief, but the past 5 years have been relationship filled. Moved to Bristol, then not long after moved to Dublin. We lived with my parents for 2 years saving, got engaged, bought an apartment at the start of lockdown 2 years ago, got a cat, got another cat, a cat died, got a dog, and then 

Lucy and I just broke up recently. 

Basically she wanted to move back to the UK and I didn't was the crux of it. We still care an awful lot about each other so it's very weird, but it was a pretty mutual realisation that this is probably for the best. 

So now I need someone to listen to me moan again and you my favourite friends, if any of you happen across this again, get the honour. 

My first moan is what the fuck is up with the new blog creating page, it's like I'm writing a word document now. 

I want my Morcheeba background back. Speaking of, I haven't listened to Morcheeba in yonks, time to stick on "Enjoy the Ride". I suggest you do the same so we're like, in sync, even if you're reading this months after I've written it. We'll basically be time travelling together, sharing a moment across different points in history. Let me set the scene. I'm in our apartment, that is now strangely not our apartment as much as it used to be, "my" apartment I should probably say to any potential fembots. The lights are soft yellow, it's dark outside, the dog is conked on the couch behind me, the cat has wandered off to the bedroom to snooze on the bed most likely. Morcheeba is playing on my speakers. The guitar is out of its case in the corner of the room looking at me. I'm having a beer after squash earlier. I guess you could say it is a peaceful moment.

 

I decided to blog because I actually am avoiding being productive. I've 2 big programming projects that I need to work on, I've put in a lot of hours already but there's a lot to do still on both, and I have 2 or 3 littler project ideas too. 

But what I really should be doing is practicing guitar. 

I've made a little soundcloud that you can find here https://soundcloud.com/thejamhead <- Don't have any expectations, I'm awful but it's fun. 

So I'm trying to just keep making songs and I figure I'll gradually get better. I've been using this really nice little website called https://songcraft.io/ for making up the songs, but you only get 5 free spaces and I've used them all up, so I really need to record some so I can delete them and make space for new ideas... It's just so hard when you have an idea in your head for how you want it to sound, and you're just too shit to get it right. 

Lucy happened to call (we haven't been chatting much on purpose) just after I wrote that paragraph for a check-in to see how I'm doing and I didn't get back to writing this, so I'll end this post here.